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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25621141">A Merry War</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/keltatonic/pseuds/keltatonic'>keltatonic</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Megamind (2010)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Angst and Drama, Anxiety, Banter, Battle, Comedy, Denial of Feelings, Eventual Fluff, F/M, Kind of winging it on the plot, Lots of Inner Monologue Stuff, References to Shakespeare, Romance, Will probably add tags as I go, coming up with evil schemes is hard, let's just have fun with this</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:01:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>32,301</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25621141</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/keltatonic/pseuds/keltatonic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Roxanne can't stop thinking about the man behind the supervillain. Megamind doesn't want to acknowledge that any such man exists.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Megamind/Roxanne Ritchi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>132</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>218</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You’re such a cynic.”</p><p>Megamind glared at Roxanne and then put his nose in the air. “I am not a cynic,” he replied haughtily.</p><p>“Totally a cynic.”</p><p>“I am not!” he snapped, starting to get annoyed.</p><p>He <em>wasn’t</em>!</p><p>“Do you think that people are only motivated by their own self-interest?”</p><p>He rolled his eyes. “Okay—yes, I would say that is usually the case. But—” he added quickly, cutting off what was sure to be a smug taunt from her, “—that is simply a matter of survival. Most creatures are built to put themselves first. And—” he said, cutting her off again, “—even the species that seem to exhibit altruism are simply acting out a social behavior that was built into them. In species where community is necessary to thrive, any attempt to help another member of your community could be argued to be self-serving, as it enforces the bonds between the individual and the group. The stronger those bonds, the higher probability that the individual will receive support in a time of need.” He shrugged.</p><p>“Cynic.”</p><p>“I’m <em>not</em>—not that it matters! Why are we even talking about this?” He twisted the transmitter on his watch. “Minion! What’s the status?”</p><p><em>“Uh—he’s still busy,”</em> came the grainy reply. <em>“Now there’s a fire in one of the high-rise condos downtown.”</em></p><p>“This is ridiculous!” Megamind exclaimed, throwing his free hand into the air in frustration. He and Roxanne had been waiting for well over an hour, but one thing after another had prevented the so-called ‘hero’ from coming to rescue her. He’d turned off the cameras twenty minutes ago and had sent the brainbots to stand guard while he did his best to ‘menace’ Roxanne—though it frequently felt like their roles were reversed—but he could only keep things going for so long.</p><p>
  <em>“Sorry, Sir.”</em>
</p><p>Megamind sighed. “It’s fine, Minion. Just… just keep me posted.” He turned the watch off and spun about, facing Roxanne. “Well, Miss Ritchi, it seems today is not your day. How does it feel knowing that your beloved Metro Man has chosen the needs of the many over the needs of the… <em>you</em>,” he sneered, as wickedly as he could.</p><p>“Ah—butchered Star Trek. My favorite,” she retorted, giving him a vexingly charming smirk. “Now. Back to my point—”</p><p>“I am <em>not</em> a <em>cynic</em>! I am a realist, at the very least! I’d even say I’m an <em>optimist</em>! I mean, how many times have I gone after Metro Man?” he said, gesturing with both hands. “If that’s not optimism, I don’t know what is.”</p><p>She wrinkled her nose. “Why is that optimism?”</p><p>He stared at her blankly. “Because he’s Metro Man.” Wasn’t it obvious? “He’s indestructible!”</p><p>She quirked a brow.</p><p>He frowned. “What?”</p><p>“He’s indestructible?” she echoed, as if in question.</p><p>He narrowed his eyes. What was she…?</p><p>“You said he’s indestructible,” she said, looking at him pointedly. “So, you believe that he can’t be destroyed. Which means you don’t think you have a chance of defeating him. Not exactly optimistic.”</p><p>“No, I—that’s not—you’re twisting my words!” he sputtered, pointing at her furiously. “That is a <em>flawed interpretation</em>! He’s indestructible—<em>so far</em>! Which is why I’m still working on it! With—with <em>optimism</em>!” He marched away and tried to think of something else to monologue about. He really needed to get this conversation back under control.</p><p>“Fine,” she said. “If you’re not a cynic, why don’t you prove it? Let me out of these ropes and we can—I don’t know—play a game or something.”</p><p>He let out an annoyed growl. That was how this whole conversation had started! The second he turned off the cameras, she’d asked to be released, claiming she wouldn’t attempt to escape. After laughing at her absolutely ludicrous suggestion, he had assured her that he wouldn’t fall for such an obvious trap.</p><p>And then all the cynicism talk had started!</p><p>His growing aggravation was no doubt part of her plan. She was clearly trying to irritate him until he gave in and untied her—then she’d slip away the first chance she got!</p><p>Maybe he should just let her go… It didn’t seem like Metro Man would be stopping by anytime soon, and it was getting late. Letting her escape was somehow less embarrassing than having to drive her home because her idiot boyfriend was too busy to come rescue her.</p><p>And—and how the <em>hell</em> was that possible? Too busy? He was <em>too fucking busy</em>? What kind of a braindead asshole would leave the <em>love of his life</em> in the hands of an <em>evil fucking supervillain</em>, just because of a goddamn fire in some upper-class lofts? That’s what the <em>fire department</em> was for!</p><p>The—unappreciative, son of a—</p><p>Did he not realize how—unbelievably lucky he was? To have someone like her?</p><p>Megamind bit the inside of his cheek and let out a long, slow breath.</p><p>… No… There was no point in getting upset. It didn’t matter. None of it mattered. It was just how things were… Accept it.</p><p>Move on.</p><p>He blinked and realized he’d been pacing. And she’d been watching. And he’d probably been making some rather intense faces. Shit. He straightened up and raised his chin.</p><p>“Very well, Miss Ritchi, I accept your challenge. I shall prove that I’m not a cynic by releasing you. We’ll wait here together until Metro Man arrives.”</p><p>Or until she ran away. Whichever came first. As if there was any doubt.</p><p>“Great!” she exclaimed, a dazzling smile lighting her features.</p><p>He busied himself unknotting and loosening her bindings until they fell to the ground around her chair. She stepped out of the pile of rope and Megamind dutifully began gathering it back into a coil. His listened closely to her footsteps as she walked into the room behind him but was careful to appear as though he were solely focused on the task at hand.</p><p>“Wow,” he heard her say, her voice echoing through the vacant foyer. The plot of the day featured a laser-shooting pipe organ with legs, so it <em>had</em> to take place in Metrocity’s historic Orpheum Theater. “The architecture in here is so beautiful.”</p><p>A comment about the architecture. Next she’ll want to explore the stage. Then she’ll slip out the back before he has a chance to catch up. He smirked. It was so obvious. By the time he was done coiling the rope, she’d be gone.</p><p>“Do you mind if I check out the stage?”</p><p>Ha! Too easy. “Do as you like, Miss Ritchi,” he said unconcernedly.</p><p>Her footsteps disappeared into the distance and he heard a door opening and closing. He deliberately ignored the nagging disappointment in his chest. Maybe a small part of him <em>had</em> hoped she might stand by her word…</p><p>Oh well. No point in deluding himself.</p><p>He stowed the coil of rope and made his way to the auditorium. Once through the ornate doorway, he glanced around, fully expecting the room to be empty. But, to his great surprise, she was standing on the stage, front and center, looking out into the audience.</p><p>“Oh!” she exclaimed upon seeing him. She took a step back and smiled self-consciously. “This—uh—this really is such a gorgeous theater. I’m actually kind of glad Wayne is busy. I’d hate it if this place got destroyed.”</p><p>Megamind glanced around at the lavish baroque-style decor as he made his way down to her. She’d inadvertently struck on one of his main concerns with this particular location. That was exactly why he’d set things up in the entrance. The tentative plan was that Wayne would burst in—probably through the roof, like the galumphing idiot he was—and then Megamind would surreptitiously lure him out into the theater’s courtyard, thereby technically hosting his plot at the appropriate metropolitan venue without risking too much damage to the magnificent interior.</p><p>But he couldn’t admit something like that to Roxanne, so he stayed silent as he took a seat on the edge of the stage.</p><p>“I used to come to shows here when I was younger,” she said wistfully. “My grandma brought me, when she was still around.” She smiled and sat beside him. “I actually had a minor obsession with Shakespeare for a while and we used to go to the Shakespeare—”</p><p>“—Spectacles?” he finished for her, his eyebrows raised in surprise. “The performances put on by the Antiquity Troupe? Yes, I remember those.” They had been some of his first lessons on effective staging.</p><p>“His female characters always seem so elegant,” she continued. “I used to idolize them.”</p><p>Understandable. The costumes. The language. “Anyone in particular?”</p><p>She grinned. “At the time? Juliet.”</p><p>He made a face. “Wh—with the ‘o happy dagger’ stuff? Why on earth would you idolize <em>that</em>?”</p><p>She laughed. “I thought her story was so beautiful and tragic. And romantic—obviously. And then I grew up and realized that she and Romeo were basically just starry-eyed kids who didn’t know the first thing about each other.”</p><p>“Well, you certainly don’t strike me as the Juliet type,” he intoned. “You may have her passion, Miss Ritchi, but the innocent, demure damsel character doesn’t suit you at all.”</p><p>She rolled her eyes. “I’m guessing you see me as a Kate? A shrew to be tamed?”</p><p>He tipped his head to the side, thinking. “No… I’d say you’re more of a… Beatrice. Much Ado. Clever. Confident. Loyal. Sharp tongued, yes, but not so spiteful.”</p><p>“Oh.” She looked rather pleased.</p><p>“Besides—taming you is clearly impossible.” He cast an exaggerated sidelong glance at her, and she laughed again. He found that he quite liked the sound…</p><p>“And what about you? Who’s your character?”</p><p>“Ha. I should think it was obvious. Who could I be, but Caliban?” he said with an especially e-vil smirk.</p><p>She wrinkled her nose. “Caliban? Why?”</p><p>The smirk faltered. Did he really have to say it? “A villain ‘not honour’d with a human shape.’” Constantly put in his place by someone he hated… tempted by another someone he couldn’t have…</p><p>She gave him a look of incredulity. “But you’re nothing like him! Nope. I veto that choice.” She narrowed her eyes, surveying him intently. “If I’m Beatrice, you <em>have </em>to be Benedick.”</p><p>His eyes went wide. Benedick? Beatrice’s romantic counterpart?</p><p>A moment later, Roxanne seemed to realize what she’d said and tittered nervously, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “I—I mean—with our ‘merry war,’” she said, gesturing between them. “Besides, his character kind of fits. Dramatic. Histrionic. Clever. Competitive. Funny… Fun.” She gave him a crooked smile. “Suits you.”</p><p>Except— “But he’s such a misogynist! I’m not like that!” He paused. He did regularly ‘threaten’ Roxanne in order to lure her boyfriend to battle…</p><p>“Beatrice asks Benedick to kill someone for her. Am I like that?” she asked flatly.</p><p>“Ah. Right. Er—no, you’re not.” An uncomfortable silence settled around them and Megamind fidgeted with his hands, trying to think of a way to fill it. “So! I’m sure you gathered that I too attended the Shakespeare Spectacles as a boy,” he said, jumping to his feet.</p><p>“I did,” she confirmed, her eyes twinkling.</p><p>“Would you like to see my usual seat?”</p><p>“I would.” She climbed to her feet as well.</p><p>“This way,” he beckoned, making his way backstage to a hidden spiral staircase he knew very well, though it had been ages since he’d used it.</p><p>“Up there?” she questioned with a bemused grin.</p><p>He gave a sharp nod. “My Uncle Morrie worked here,” he explained as they climbed.</p><p>“Your uncle?”</p><p>“Er—my—uh—” He winced. He hadn’t quite meant to bring that up. “Not a <em>real</em> uncle. One of the… <em>people</em> from the—uh—the <em>place</em> where I grew up.”</p><p>They both knew what he meant.</p><p>When he first began kidnapping her, she’d done some digging into his past and learned that, through a statutory loophole and the warden’s sheer determination, he’d been held as the only juvenile member of the Metro City Prison for the Criminally Gifted. Of course, she had confronted him about it and asked a series of questions—like how that could possibly be <em>legal</em>—but when he remained tight lipped, she eventually gave up, letting the subject go. 

He worried, for a while, that she would use it as fodder to tease him with—she wouldn’t be the first—but she didn’t. It had remained a largely unaddressed topic between them since then. Until now.</p><p>He cast a stealthy glance over his shoulder, but her expression didn’t give much away, so he cleared his throat nervously. “… Anyway, Uncle Morrie helped with the lights here, after he was… released,” he went on, hesitantly. “The warden would bring me over sometimes, and Uncle Morrie would let me watch the show while he worked.” At the top of the stairway, he tapped lightly on the railing. “Here—you, uh—you might want to hold on. The walkway is a bit tree-cherous,” he said, fluttering his hands in warning.</p><p>She half-smiled, one eyebrow raised. “Uh… thanks.”</p><p>He led her slowly, carefully down the narrow catwalk to his usual seating area. When he was a kid, he used peek around the lights and marvel at the bird’s eye view of the stage. He felt like royalty, watching the show from his own private box. That is, until he told one of the kids at school about it.</p><p>And they told everyone else.</p><p>And they all called him a ‘freak’ for not using a <em>real</em> seat like a <em>normal</em> person.</p><p>… Why did he bring Roxanne up here again?</p><p>She stood beside him quietly and peered down at the stage.</p><p>This was a stupid, horrible plan! Everything looked so tiny! The stage was miles away! And there were wires and lights cluttering up the view! Why the hell did he show her this?</p><p>“I… erm… I know it’s a bit… <em>different</em>…” he stammered.</p><p>“This is incredible,” Roxanne murmured. “You used to watch shows from up here?” she asked, turning to him.</p><p>Huh. It didn’t <em>sound</em> like she was mocking him. “I… Yes. I did.”</p><p>She grinned. “I’m so jealous! We always had seats in the back. And I was pretty short, so inevitably some big guy would sit in front of me and block my view,” she said wryly. “Watching from up here must have been amazing!”</p><p>“I—uh—yes. I… I thought so.”</p><p>“Do you still go to shows?”</p><p>He shook his head sadly. “Uncle Morrie died nearly a decade ago—not long after I began my career as a supervillain, actually. And I’m too famous to ‘sneak’ anywhere, these days.” True, he could use the holowatch to disguise himself, but the idea of hiding amongst the audience felt… wrong… somehow.</p><p>Roxanne hummed in sympathy. “Well, I’m sorry to hear that. And that’s too bad—though I can’t really speak; I haven’t been here in a while either. It always seems like there’s too much to do.” She sighed. “It’s strange. I didn’t realize how much I missed this place. I suppose I should thank you for bringing me here and reminding me,” she said, smiling sweetly.</p><p>“Um… you’re… you’re welcome?” he offered, his eyes wide.</p><p>
  <em>“Sir?”</em>
</p><p>Megamind actually jumped as Minion’s voice blared from the watch. “Ah! Yes! Er—what is it?”</p><p>
  <em>“Metro Man’s just about wrapped up here. He should be heading over any minute.”</em>
</p><p>“I see. Thank you, Minion.” He turned off the watch. “Well, that’s our cue to return, Miss Ritchi. And don’t even think of trying to escape!”</p><p>She snorted. “Wouldn’t dream of it. Besides—I’d like to get back before Wayne crashes in here and wrecks the place.”</p><p>They were almost to the stairway when she came to a sudden halt in front of him, and he had to scramble to keep from crashing into her back.</p><p>“Wait,” she said slowly, drawing out the word. “Is—is that why you set everything up in the foyer?” she asked, turning to him, a shrewd smirk on her lips.</p><p>“In the…? Oh! Uh…”</p><p>“Of course,” she said with a laugh. “You don’t want to see this place damaged any more than me, do you.”</p><p>He sniffed and turned his head to the side dismissively. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean, Miss Ritchi.”</p><p>She arched a brow and leaned forward conspiratorially, putting her hand on his arm. He had to force himself not to shy backwards from her. “Don’t worry—I won’t let anyone know you were actually trying to <em>protect</em> something,” she whispered slyly, sending his heart into palpitations. She grinned at his most likely ridiculous and definitely thunderstruck expression and turned to walk down the stairs.</p><p>x.x.x.x.x</p><p>The plot ended almost as soon as it began. Metro Man made quick work of the pipe-organ thing. Roxanne’s breath caught as he hauled Megamind from the smoking contraption and threw him across the courtyard into one of the decorative statues. She exhaled in relief when Megamind shakily climbed to his feet but winced a moment later as he was tackled to the ground by a waiting team of policemen. She continued watching with a frown, as the officers cuffed him and shoved him into one of the squad cars.</p><p>Wayne offered to take her home, but she declined; he looked exhausted. She suspected that was why the fight today had been so short—and brutal. The frown stayed on her face all through the long cab ride home and it deepened on the walk up to her apartment. It wasn’t until she was safely alone and secluded that she let herself sort out the myriad of thoughts bouncing around in her brain.</p><p>She hated it when the fights got violent, like that.</p><p>It didn’t happen often. Usually, it started when Megamind or Metro Man crossed some mysterious line of ‘banter etiquette’ that only the pair of them seemed to understand—and if someone stepped over too far, things could get surprisingly vicious, surprisingly quickly. Or sometimes, it was purely accidental—the ricochet from Wayne’s laser vision, flying debris, exploding machinery—the battlefield was a dangerous place. But, very rarely, on days like today, Wayne just wasn’t in the mood and he’d use a little more force than usual to end things quickly.</p><p>Because he had to. He had to stop Megamind. Of course, he did. She knew that.</p><p>Megamind was the one who started it. He was the instigator. He was the culprit. Every. Single. Time.</p><p>But… it just… it didn’t always seem… fair.</p><p>She sighed and slumped down on the couch.</p><p>Today had been… weirdly nice. Aside from the kidnapping aspect. She was always surprised by how much she enjoyed Megamind’s company when he wasn’t actively threatening her.</p><p>… and sometimes even then. He could be very entertaining when he was playing the part of the villain. And she never <em>really</em> felt threatened. The theater wasn’t the only thing he seemed to want to protect. She was fairly certain he wouldn’t let her get hurt—beyond a few minor scuffs.</p><p>And he <em>couldn’t</em> hurt Wayne. He had tried. ‘With optimism.’ She smiled faintly.</p><p>Maybe that’s why it bothered so much when <em>he</em> got hurt. He was a lot tougher than he appeared, with his slender physique. He could take a beating.</p><p>… She hated that she knew that.</p><p>But he wasn’t invincible like Wayne. And no one was looking out for his safety. It felt like he was the only one with skin in the game. Brilliant, blue skin…</p><p>The worst she’d ever gotten was a twisted ankle. Over the years, she’s seen Megamind suffer countless bruises, scrapes, cuts, burns and broken bones. She’d seen him knocked unconscious a few times. He’d even been impaled by a rather large piece of shrapnel once.</p><p>God, had <em>that</em> been a rough day—trying to fight her way through the crowd of reporters who wanted a firsthand account of what had happened. And all she wanted to do was get to the damn hospital and make sure he was fucking okay! By the time she got there, he’d already been transported to the prison. Apparently, they had total jurisdiction over his medical care since they had the most experience with him. And when she’d gone <em>there</em>, she’d been rather rudely turned away because she was a member of the media.</p><p>In a way, she was grateful. She was sure he wouldn’t want people looking in on him in such a vulnerable state. And the guard she spoke to assured her that he was fine and recovering.</p><p>Still.</p><p>It would have been nice to see him.</p><p>Kind of like today… She’d been tempted to direct the cab driver to the prison. But it was late—too late for visitors. And it was… odd… for her to be checking in on him. Like they were friends or something.</p><p>Because they weren’t. Friends. Precisely. He didn’t trust her enough for that.</p><p>But they also weren’t enemies.</p><p>… Colleagues? Ugh—no.</p><p>She groaned. This wasn’t the first night she’d spent analyzing what they were to each other. And it seemed to be happening more and more frequently. Regardless of the answer, she didn’t want to see him hurt. The question was, what could she even do about it?</p><p>A part of her missed the old days, when things were… simple. Back when he was just ‘evil’ wrapped in a comically hapless package. And that was all.</p><p>Back when she might have agreed with, ‘who could he be but Caliban?’ Equal parts villain and fool.</p><p>But no. <em>Now</em>, her brain shoved that role aside and cast him as the Benedick to her Beatrice. And what did <em>that</em> say about the nature of their relationship.</p><p>She groaned again and shoved a throw pillow against her face, intentionally derailing the train of thought.</p><p>No. It wasn’t like that. They weren’t like that.</p><p>Nope.</p><p>Definitely not.</p><p>… She just… She’d learned a lot about him over the years. Without even noticing, she had developed a soft spot for him—for his over-excited explanations, and dramatic gestures, and teasing banter.</p><p>And the more she learned, the more she wondered—about who he really was, and what he really wanted… and how much of himself he was hiding behind that supervillain persona.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Okay. I don't have a solid plan here (or... any plan, really), but I'm guessing this thing will be in the 5-10 chapter range. For anyone who doesn't know Shakespeare, here are the referenced characters/plays, in case you were wondering:</p><p>Juliet, from Romeo and Juliet<br/>Kate (Katherine), from The Taming of the Shrew<br/>Caliban, from The Tempest<br/>and, of course<br/>Benedick and Beatrice, from Much Ado About Nothing</p><p>For anyone who does know Shakespeare, I apologize if I butchered any of the characterizations. I've seen all of these plays, but only like once each, so I'm nowhere near an expert (it's just such a good Roxanne/Megamind shared hobby bonding thing). On that note, I'd like to say a special word of thanks to google.</p><p>Thank you to any other authors who's world building bits I borrowed.</p><p>Thank you for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I don’t know, Roxie.” Wayne poked at the remaining half of his iced lemon-blueberry scone. “It’s not as simple as that.”</p>
<p>She let out an aggravated sigh. They were in the middle of their biweekly coffee date and she had mentioned that <em>maybe</em> he should ease up on Megamind the next time he wasn’t in the mood for a fight. “Come on—we both know you didn’t need to throw him that hard.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” he repeated. “The little guy is pretty persistent. I’ve tried ‘going easy’ on him before, but it doesn’t work. I mean, you saw him the other day! He would’ve kept fighting if those cops hadn’t taken him down.”</p>
<p>Her brows came together. As much as she hated to admit it, he was probably right. Megamind was nothing if not tenacious. “Why does he have such a vendetta against you?” she asked him for the hundredth time. The ‘good’ versus ‘evil’ interplay only accounted for so much. Roxanne had seen both the hero and villain facades slip enough times to know that there was one hell of a backstory there.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, neither one would tell her a thing.</p>
<p>Wayne shrugged and took an overly large mouthful of hot chocolate, evading the question—as per usual.</p>
<p>She sighed again and took a small sip of coffee. “How are you?” she asked more seriously. The other night wasn’t the first time Wayne had looked worn out.</p>
<p>“Tired.” He stabbed his fork into his scone. “The calls have been coming nonstop lately. I wish heroes could take sabbaticals.”</p>
<p>She gave him a sympathetic smile. “You <em>can</em> take a break, you know.”</p>
<p>He scoffed. “Yeah? Tell that to the rest of the city,” he muttered, low enough so the surrounding tables wouldn’t hear.</p>
<p>“You have to stand up for yourself! If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you have to say something! Otherwise, they won’t know. I think you should sit down with the city council and work out some sort of agreement on what kind of problems you’ll help with and which ones they should handle on their own.”</p>
<p>“I know,” he mumbled. “I just hate disappointing people.”</p>
<p>“Wayne. You’re a hero. Grow a backbone.”</p>
<p>He opened his mouth to speak when an electronic buzzing at his side averted his attention. “Armed robbery—corner of 7<sup>th</sup> and Main,” he read aloud and then groaned, looking up dourly. “I hate this week.”</p>
<p>“Talk to them.”</p>
<p>He made a face. “Yeah. Maybe. See you next kidnapping?”</p>
<p>She nodded and he vanished a moment later. Welp. Looked like she’d be finishing her coffee alone again.</p>
<p>x.x.x.x.x</p>
<p>Roxanne’s eyes fluttered open and a heady, flowery, <em>damp</em> scent filled her nostrils. She blinked a couple of times, taking in the lush, tropical jungle spread beneath her in the glass-walled room, before it clicked.</p>
<p>The botanical garden.</p>
<p>She glanced around, trying to glean whatever she could from her surroundings, and was struck with a brief spell of vertigo as she stared down at the ground some twenty feet below her. It wasn’t so much the height that turned her stomach, as the fact that she was tipped forward slightly, suspended from the center of a huge replicated spider web strung from the arched metal beams of the greenhouse.</p>
<p>She took a few centering breaths and forced herself to relax. This definitely wasn’t the worst situation she’d awoken up to. And she had learned, over the years, that moving around too much, struggling to escape, often negated the—covert, and never admitted to—measures that Megamind and Minion took for her comfort.</p>
<p>Today, she was wrapped in a sort of cocoon of ropes, like a spider’s prey. They must have rigged her into some kind of harness too—the pressure she should have felt from having her weight held up like this was mysteriously absent. All in all, she was remarkably comfortable—other than the fact that her arms were tied to her sides.</p>
<p>“Miss Ritchi. So glad you could join us,” Megamind said, striding out from the canopy below with a smiling Minion and a phalanx of brainbots at his back.</p>
<p>It had been nearly two weeks since the last battle. She was glad to see he’d recovered. “Two gorgeous locations in a row, huh?”</p>
<p>He glanced around. “I hadn’t noticed,” he said dismissively.</p>
<p>“I don’t suppose you feel like untying me so I can go exploring again,” she pestered.</p>
<p>“I’m sure you can make do with the view you have.”</p>
<p>“Aw—but we had such fun together last time.” She arched a brow. “Didn’t we? <em>Benedick</em>?”</p>
<p>His eyes widened in surprise—apparently, she’d hit her mark—and she couldn’t help but grin at successfully flustering him. He blinked and cleared his throat. “Playing the temptress, as always. Thankfully, I’m immune to such wiles,” he crooned, sending a wicked smirk her way. “I’m afraid I’ll have to leave you hanging, Miss Ritchi.”</p>
<p>She rolled her eyes. “Cute. So, what’s on the schedule for today?”</p>
<p>“You’ll just have to wait and see, like the rest of Metrocity. Brainbots—cue it up!” At his order, the bots hurried to work, hovering to and fro, each one taking care of its designated task. Within a minute, the scene was set. A handful of camerabots had positioned themselves strategically throughout the room while a pair of bots lightly fanned at a fog of dry ice, making swirl ominously around Megamind. “Mwahahahahahaha!” He strode forward, laughing maniacally as the camera focused in on him.</p>
<p>“Megamind.” Metro Man’s face appeared on a large transparent display held aloft by another pair of brainbots. Roxanne could just make out the dark circles under the hero’s eyes. He clearly hadn’t taken her advice. “Shouldn’t you be in prison?” he said, tiredly.</p>
<p>“Ha! Evil cannot be so easily contained!” Megamind gloated, pointing a finger at the camera.</p>
<p>Roxanne frowned—she could hear sirens coming through the speakers, and… was that a helicopter?</p>
<p>“Look—I really hate to do this again, but I’m—” Metro Man rubbed the back of his neck wearily, “—I’m kind of in the middle of something? I don’t really have the time right now.”</p>
<p>Megamind stared for a moment, and then his brows snapped together furiously. “Well you had better <em>find</em> the time! We’re at the Millennium Gardens. If you’re not here within the hour to retrieve a certain vial of antivenin—which I may or may not be carrying—it might be too late for your precious Miss Ritchi!”</p>
<p>The broadcast cut to Roxanne, and she gaped dumbly, because <em>what the hell did he just say</em>?</p>
<p>It cut back to Megamind, wearing a sharp smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “The next move is yours, hero!” he bit out and then gestured tensely at the bot to cut the feed. “There—<em>that</em> should put some pep in his step,” he muttered. “I hope you’re comfortable, Miss Ritchi. It looks like your boyfriend has been delayed… again.”</p>
<p>“Antivenin? You <em>poisoned</em> me?” she snapped, struggling in earnest now—her comfort be damned. “That is—<em>completely</em> unacceptable.”</p>
<p>He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay—first of all, <em>evil</em>!<em> Supervillain</em>!” he said, gesturing to himself, his eyes wide, “Just in case you’d forgotten! And secondly, all I did was <em>imply</em> that I’d poisoned you. That, Miss Ritchi, is what we call, a bluff. I simply don’t feel like waiting around all day for him to show up,” he huffed. “Minion!” He spun about and then nearly fell over jolting back from Minion, who was still standing directly behind him.</p>
<p>“Sir?”</p>
<p>Megamind composed himself with a flourish of his cape. “Take the beta squad to the western entrance and keep watch. If he’s not here in an hour… I don’t know—think of something e-vil and do it.”</p>
<p>Minion saluted cheerfully. “You got it, Sir.”</p>
<p>He tromped away with half of the brainbots fluttering after him as Megamind stalked over to the remaining group. “The rest of you—execute the sentinel formation.” He paused. “And make sure you let Daddy know if you see anything coming, okay?” he added quietly.</p>
<p>There were a few ‘bowgs’ of assent before the bots scattered, spreading across the greenhouse in little trios. Megamind cast a wary glance up at Roxanne and she glared back.</p>
<p>“So—just to clarify—I’m absolutely not poisoned, right? I have your word on that?” she asked.</p>
<p>He rolled his eyes. “I think we’ve just proven that my word doesn’t mean that much—but, yes. You are <em>not </em>poisoned. Currently.”</p>
<p>“Well, that’s a relief,” she grumbled, her foul mood easing a little.</p>
<p>He frowned. “Don’t get too excited just yet—you’re still in very real peril! I have—<em>plenty</em>—of <em>devious</em> things planned for you.”</p>
<p>“Of course. Devious. I’m sure.” She smirked. “So…. twenty questions? You pick first?”</p>
<p>x.x.x.x.x</p>
<p>Seven rounds of twenty questions later, and Roxanne was starting to get annoyed. “That is <em>way</em> too specific!”</p>
<p>His eyes widened in delighted offense. “It is not!” he argued with a bewildered smile. “I’m fairly certain the only rule was that I had to choose a noun. And a <em>muon neutrino</em> is a noun!”</p>
<p>“<em>Muon neutrino</em> is <em>way too specific</em> a noun!”</p>
<p>“Oh—because David Bowie is <em>so</em> general.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, well, you got that one, didn’t you,” she muttered.</p>
<p>“I answered all of your questions accurately, Miss Ritchi. Don’t take your anger out on me.” He was practically bouncing with glee.</p>
<p>“I <em>guessed</em> neutrino!”</p>
<p>“And I answered ‘yes.’ It isn’t my fault that you didn’t guess the correct one!”</p>
<p>“Agh! Fine! New rule—you can only choose a noun the other person might actually know.”</p>
<p>“Hang on,” he said, looking affronted. “I know you well enough to know that you <em>absolutely</em> might have known that.”</p>
<p>“Well, I didn’t,” she retorted, going pink with embarrassment. She sighed and wriggled in her bindings. It no longer mattered how comfortably they’d tied her—after hanging in the same position for so long, her body was beginning to protest. On top of that, an errant thread of fiber from the rope kept ever-so-gently brushing against the back of her neck, and the tickling was slowly starting to drive her mad. She had tried shifting away from it as much as she could, but it wasn’t doing any good. “Hey—can you do me a huge favor?”</p>
<p>His brows lowered over his eyes suspiciously. “Possibly.”</p>
<p>“Could you itch my neck?”</p>
<p>He blinked. “Come again?”</p>
<p>“Please—it’s—agh! I tried to ignore it, but it’s—just—” She wiggled in the ropes again, but the tickling persisted.</p>
<p>He frowned. “But. You’re way up there.”</p>
<p>She gave him a flat look. “Yeah. I wonder why.” At his sardonic ‘<em>and your point is…?</em>’ expression she let out a frustrated growl. “Come on! Don’t tell me you don’t have a way to get up to me.” They had obviously managed to string her up here, <em>somehow</em>. Or he could send one of the brainbots, for all she cared.</p>
<p>He stood in conflicted deliberation for a moment, before letting out a weary breath, unhooking a clasp near his throat, and tossing his cape aside. Roxanne let out a noise of intrigue at the sight of a previously concealed exosuit. He flicked his thumb in an odd sort of motion and then spread his fingers and arms wide. Eight skeletal metal legs stretched out from the suit and, following similar motions from him, they began climbing nimbly up the wall, carrying him to her. Now that her attention had been drawn to them, the gloves did look different than the pair he usually wore.</p>
<p>She grinned. “Of course you’re the spider. I should have known.”</p>
<p>He smiled a little ruefully. “Yes. Well—it <em>would</em> have been quite a fun surprise if you hadn’t ruined it. With your demanding itchiness.”</p>
<p>She laughed. “It’s still a pretty good surprise.” The taut ropes of the web quivered as he climbed onto them, and she looked around nervously. “You’re absolutely sure this can support us both?”</p>
<p>He gave her a condescending look, silently chastising her for questioning him, but she threw it right back—he’d miscalculated enough times in the past. He heaved a sigh. “Don’t worry—it’s reinforced nylon. And the suit is incredibly light. The web will hold.” He was directly in front of her now. “So… your, um… your neck?”</p>
<p>She bent her head forward. “If you could itch the back, kind of on the left side, that would be great.”</p>
<p>“Y-yes. Of course. Itching! Not a problem.” He did another curious little flick of his thumb—that must be how he activated the controls—and then slowly reached forward.</p>
<p>She let her eyes drift close, waiting patiently, and then felt something strangely smooth skimming back and forth over her skin. What the...? Oh, right—he was scratching through a layer of leather. And he was touching her like she would disintegrate if he used any amount or pressure, which, frankly, just exacerbated things. She let out a whine of frustration, and he pulled away instantly.</p>
<p>“Wh-what? What is it?” he stammered.</p>
<p>“I don’t suppose you’d be willing to lose the gloves for a second,” she said, opening her eyes and gazing up at him pleadingly. “The leather kind of makes scratching impossible.”</p>
<p>He looked down at his hand and then back at her uncertainly. After a final, deliberative glance up at the sky, he began unclasping and removing one of the gloves. Holding it loosely in his other hand, he carefully, tentatively reached forward.</p>
<p>Roxanne dropped her head again, a grateful smile curving her lips when his fingernails scraped gently against her skin. She arched upward into his hand—which made him exhale sharply—but thankfully, he took the hint and scratched a little harder. Thoroughly sated, she groaned in relief. “Thank you,” she murmured, raising her head. He pulled back quickly, and she had to swallow a laugh—his cheeks were the most fascinating shade of fuchsia!</p>
<p>“Yes! Aha—it’s fine. No—no trouble at all, Rox—er—Miss—<em>Miss Ritchi</em>!” He hurriedly began pulling the glove up his arm.</p>
<p>“Is that where the controls are?” she asked.</p>
<p>“In part,” he answered distractedly, fumbling with the clasp. “In order to get it to move the way I wanted, I had to chain several mechanical tracking potentiometers with an array of inertial sensing—” He stopped and scowled at her. With the glove now securely fastened, he flicked his thumb and edged away.</p>
<p>“Is it pretty intuitive? To use?” When his scowl deepened, she laughed. “Come on. It’s neat and I’m curious! I don’t suppose you feel like letting me try it on?” she prodded.</p>
<p>He rolled his eyes, but the faint twitch at the corner of his lips hinted that he was pleased by her compliment. “I can move fairly easily with it, but I have a feeling you would struggle.”</p>
<p>“Hey!” she snapped.</p>
<p>“No—that’s not—” He sighed. “I calibrated it for myself—for the way I’m built and the way I move. I don’t think it would work effectively for anyone else.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” she said, somewhat mollified. “How do you grab with it—like, how do the legs hold onto—”</p>
<p>A chorus of excited ‘bowgs’ rang through the air, cutting her off.</p>
<p>“Sir! Metro Man is approaching!” Minion clunked in from the other side of the room along with the second team of brainbots.</p>
<p>Megamind looked up and swore, and Roxanne quickly followed his gaze.</p>
<p>Sure enough, Metro Man was barreling straight towards them. At that speed, he’d be through the roof in few of seconds—no doubt sending splinters of glass flying through the air. Roxanne slammed her eyes shut and held her breath—his entrance always was one of the most dangerous parts of the job. She heard the crash and waited for the fragments of debris to rain down on her, but was surprised when she barely felt anything. She released her breath and hesitantly opened her eyes, only to gasp in surprise.</p>
<p>She was staring into Megamind’s chest. She looked up and found a snarl twisting his lips as he glared up at Metro Man. Before she could think on it further, he launched himself at his nemesis, and the battle was off.</p>
<p>Roxanne had to admit—Megamind really could move with his exosuit thing. He clambered up the walls and swung in arcing parabolas, fairly throwing himself through the domed greenhouse from one beam to the next, occasionally pausing to fire furiously with the De-Gun. Metro Man dodged and retaliated with short bolts from his eyes, but Megamind scrambled to avoid them. They parried back and forth until Metro Man sent an extended beam that cut a jagged gash through the wall, tailing Megamind, and forcing him into a temporary retreat.</p>
<p>Taking advantage of the moment’s pause, Metro Man flew over to Roxanne, cutting swiftly through the ropes and setting her gently on the ground, before rocketing back into battle. From her new position, she could only make out half of what was going on. She was torn between trying to get a better view of the action and staying a safe distance away, but before she could decide, a swarm of brainbots coalesced overhead.</p>
<p>She heard Megamind shouting, and saw the brainbots dive, and—oh! Another web? They swept up Metro Man and began tugging him down to the ground, a little way out from where she stood.</p>
<p>“Argh! It’s sticky!” he complained.</p>
<p>Megamind swung to the ground, a few yards in front of Roxanne, and let out a sharp laugh. “It seems you have become entrapped, Metro Mahn!” he called, his emerald eyes bright and glittering. “Brainbots! Code: Spider Bite!”</p>
<p>Roxanne watched as a handful of brainbots zoomed up to Metro Man and puffed out small clouds of smoke around him. The hero began coughing and sneezing as he tore the net apart. “Dang it! What was that?” he blustered.</p>
<p>“That—my dimwitted enemy—was a very special dose of venom, created just for you!” Megamind crowed, stalking back and forth and looking absolutely thrilled.</p>
<p>“Ack! It tastes awful,” Metro Man groused, brushing away the last few bits of web clinging to his suit. “And what the heck kind of spider uses airborne venom?”</p>
<p>Megamind rolled his eyes. “If you care to tell me how to pierce your skin, I’d be happy to administer the venom properly.”</p>
<p>“I think I’ll pass,” he said, doing a quick once over of his body. “So, what’s it supposed to do?”</p>
<p>“Oh—so many things!” Megamind said, his hands steepled, fingers drumming together excitedly. “Paralysis. Dizziness. Nausea. Difficulty breathing. Cellular necrosis. So, tell me—which of these effects are you enjoying the most?”</p>
<p>“Honestly—all I’m really feeling is an itchy nose. It looks like your vile venom cannot poison the power of justice!” Metro Man declared, striking a heroic pose. “Face it, Megamind. You can’t win against me—not today—not ever! You’re wasting your time.” His voice lowered, his expression going stony. “Give up. Now. It’s over. You lost.”</p>
<p>Megamind’s smile thinned. “It must be nice to be so sure of yourself,” he said softly, and Roxanne thought for the briefest moment that that was the end of it.</p>
<p>But then he spun about.</p>
<p>“I suppose it’s easy with an entire city backing you. So! You want me to give up? Well, I hate to disappoint, but I’ve never been one to accept defeat easily,” he snapped, sending off a parting shot as he vaulted back up the wall.</p>
<p>Metro Man let out a yelp of surprise as the shot glanced off his shoulder. “Hey! Watch it!” he yelled, taking off in pursuit.</p>
<p>A beam of light cut through the air, and Megamind dove to the side. Two of the legs went clattering to the ground and he made a noise of irritation, sending a return volley from the De-Gun. He sprang to the ceiling and another beam followed him, neatly slicing off a third and then a fourth metallic leg.</p>
<p>Megamind growled and fired two more ineffective shots before clambering away from an oncoming Metro Man. Before he could get very far, the hero grabbed onto one of the remaining legs of the exosuit. Roxanne’s eyes went wide as he swung the entire contraption—and Megamind—in a wide circle above his head. Once! Twice! Before slamming them down to the ground with a sickening clattering thud.</p>
<p>“Shit!” she cursed, sprinting over.</p>
<p>“Sir!” Minion began loping from the other side of the room while signaling at the bots to cut the feed.</p>
<p>Smoke curled lazily from the destroyed exosuit, and the one remaining attached leg twitched spasmodically before curling up in an unnerving parody of a spider’s death. There was a terrible moment of silence as they drew near to the still form—even Metro Man seemed concerned—but then Megamind sat up with a groan.</p>
<p>“Sir!” Minion yelled, kneeling down at his side.</p>
<p>“I’m—fine, Minion,” he said, patting the arm of the gorilla suit comfortingly, though his voice sounded a bit ragged. He leaned over and whispered something else, but all Roxanne could hear was the distant sound of approaching sirens. Minion nodded and began his retreat.</p>
<p>No one gave him a second glance. One of the unspoken rules was that Minion was off limits. In the early days, the fact that Metro Man always let him go drove Roxanne crazy—especially since it was the henchfish who did most of the kidnapping—but now, the idea of sending Minion to prison seemed absolutely absurd.</p>
<p>Metro Man stepped forward, his arms crossed over his chest, his back straight. “We done?” he said stiffly, chin raised. Seething defiance practically poured from Megamind’s glare, but his wince as he climbed to his feet was all the answer Wayne needed. He grabbed hold of Megamind’s collar. “I believe you mentioned an antivenin thing for Roxanne?”</p>
<p>“He was lying,” Roxanne said, quickly. “I was never poisoned.”</p>
<p>Metro Man frowned. “That true?” he demanded, giving his captive a shake when he wouldn’t answer.</p>
<p>“It’s true,” Megamind hissed through gritted teeth.</p>
<p>Wayne nodded and turned to Roxanne. “And you’re okay—otherwise?”</p>
<p>She offered a weak smile. “Yeah. Same as usual. What about you?”</p>
<p>“My nose kind of itches. If I had allergies, I’m guessing this is what it would feel like.” He let out a tired sigh and cast a glance over his shoulder at the now visible flashing lights. “I really don’t feel like answering a bunch of questions today. I think I’m just going take him straight to prison. Will you be okay?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. And don’t worry. I’ll let them know what happened.”</p>
<p>“Thanks. See you Wednesday?”</p>
<p>She nodded and he took off, kicking up a small cloud of dust. She sighed and tried to bolster her energy as she headed out toward the awaiting police officers.</p>
<p>x.x.x.x.x</p>
<p>The wind whipped against Megamind’s face, stinging his skin as Wayne flew. God, he hated this—being <em>carried</em> to prison. He <em>so</em> much rather be hauled away in handcuffs than have to endure the humiliation of being tucked under Wayne’s stupid, gigantic arm. If they weren’t a good two hundred feet off the ground, he might put up a struggle and try to get free.</p>
<p>But he really wasn’t in the mood to fall to his death. Besides, Wayne would probably catch him before he landed.</p>
<p>Instead, he opted to spit to the side, so the hero flew into it.</p>
<p>“Knock it off,” Wayne snapped, wiping his cheek where the spittle had landed and giving Megamind another hard shake.</p>
<p>And okay—yeah. Ouch. That battle really had left some bruises. He made of soft, pained noise and resigned himself to the vexing situation.</p>
<p>“I can’t believe you poisoned me,” Wayne said, after a minute. “Why even bother? You know I’m immune to, like, everything.”</p>
<p>“I <em>don’t</em> know that. I still haven’t <em>tried</em> everything. Hence, today’s plot,” he said, with a malicious grin.</p>
<p>But really, yeah. Wayne’s natural immunity to everything in the damn universe was practically a given. Megamind had gone through the more lethal chemicals early on in his career. At this point, it would be a miracle if anything worked. In truth, this particular plot was a lot more about impressing… the public. And a certain member of the public.</p>
<p>Megamind had been rather proud of his spider suit.</p>
<p>“Whatever.” Wayne huffed. “I still can’t believe you sprayed that stuff with Roxanne nearby. What if she got a dose?”</p>
<p>“She didn’t.” And she wouldn’t. When it came to Roxanne, everything Megamind did—<em>everything</em>—was safety tested. Extensively. He had gone over the potential danger range of the particulates from their initial dispersal area countless times before today and had programmed several restrictions into the envenomation team based on the data. The bots literally couldn’t expel the venom if she was too close by. Not to mention the various secondary containment measures.</p>
<p>Wayne frowned. “Look—all I’m saying is you need to be more careful. She could have been hurt.”</p>
<p>Megamind’s lip curled into a snarl at that. “<em>I</em> need to be more careful? You! <em>You</em> need to be more careful, you—you—idiomatic bull in a china shop! Do you have any idea how close you came to cutting her to pieces today? With your—crashing through a <em>glass ceiling</em>, right over her head! Did you not see her there? <em>You</em> could have hurt her if I hadn’t stepped in, you—you oblivious—<em>ingrate</em>!” Megamind clamped down on his tongue before he could say any more.</p>
<p>“Oh.” Wayne stared at him blankly. “Uh… I, guess I… I guess I missed that.”</p>
<p>Megamind took a slow breath. “Yes. Well, as amusing as it would be to see you accidentally maim your own girlfriend, I’d rather not lose my best hostage, so, try to pay a little more attention next time.”</p>
<p>“Yeah.” Wayne looked down at the fuming supervillain at his side and his eyebrows came together slightly. “Huh.”</p>
<p>Megamind scowled. “What?”</p>
<p>Wayne’s eyes widened and snapped forward. “It’s… nothing. Never mind.”</p>
<p>Megamind opened his mouth to pester the hero for more of an answer, but Wayne had already begun his descending swoop down to the prison. Time was up. Oh well—he doubted it was important.</p>
<p>x.x.x.x.x</p>
<p>Roxanne politely waved a goodbye to the cameraman from KMCP as he pulled away. After giving a statement to the cops, she’d done a quick segment covering the basic details of the plot. Thankfully Hal was off today, so at least she didn’t have to deal with <em>that</em> headache. One of the guys from the evening news team had filled in and had been nice enough to offer her a ride home, but she declined. It was out of the way and he still had to go back to the station to drop of the van.</p>
<p>Besides, if her suspicions were correct, she already had a ride.</p>
<p>She walked away from the destroyed greenhouse still crawling with men in uniforms taking pictures and assessing the damage, and made her way to a quiet section of the parking lot. She heard the car pull up in front of her and then an invisible window lowered to reveal a toothy, smiling face.</p>
<p>“Need a lift, Miss Ritchi?”</p>
<p>She nodded. “Thank you, Minion.”</p>
<p>She wasn’t sure when the ‘after-plot ride home’ had really started, but it had become a strangely comforting fixture over the years. It was a rare occurrence—it only ever happened when Wayne flew Megamind directly to the prison—but if things weren’t too busy with the police, or the press, or the public, or the post-battle cleanup, Minion would generally stick around and offer Roxanne a ride home.</p>
<p>She went to the passenger door and climbed into the invisible Hudson. Minion shifted into gear and Roxanne let herself relax as she stared listlessly out the window. Another strange day. The battle had started normal enough, but that ending… The image of Megamind lying motionless on the ground would be seared into her brain for a while.</p>
<p>And once again, the question of <em>why</em> wouldn’t leave her alone.</p>
<p>“Something wrong, Miss Ritchi?” Minion asked lightly.</p>
<p>She looked over in surprise. Was it that obvious? “No, I…” She shook her head. “I was just thinking.” She frowned and glanced over at the fish. “Minion—doesn’t it bother you to see him get hit like that?”</p>
<p>Minion’s gentle brown eyes widened, and he cast a sidelong glance at her. “It’s not like I enjoy it,” he answered hesitantly, “but… it’s all part of the game. He can take it, Miss Ritchi,” he added, obviously trying to reassure her.</p>
<p>But. Ugh. The game. They all knew that’s what it was, so <em>why</em> did it have to go that far? Why was Megamind so determined to push it to such an extreme? What was the point? “Sometimes, I just wonder why he puts himself through all of that. He must enjoy it, right?”</p>
<p>“Oh, yes! He does. The inventing. The machines. The adrenaline. Yes—he does,” he repeated. He cast another sidelong glance at her. “And… Metro Man? Does he?”</p>
<p>“I’m honestly not sure. Sometimes, I think he does. And sometimes, I think he’s tired.”</p>
<p>“And… do you?”</p>
<p>She glanced over with a smirk. “I would prefer <em>not</em> to be regularly kidnapped.”</p>
<p>He gulped and looked ahead quickly, making her laugh.</p>
<p>“But seeing you is nice. And Megamind… It’s interesting,” she continued. “I like having a front row seat. But it can be difficult. When you’re that close you can see a lot of the action offstage. It kind of ruins the illusion, you know?”</p>
<p>Minion looked confused. Okay, so maybe he <em>didn’t</em> know.</p>
<p>“I get to see more of you and Megamind and Wayne than most people do,” she explained, “But seeing more makes the fact that I’m <em>missing</em> pieces really obvious. It’s just… frustrating. Even after all these years, I’m still on the outside, looking in. And I just—I wish I had more of the story.”</p>
<p>An uncomfortable, worried frown clouded Minion’s usually cheery face.</p>
<p>“Never mind,” she said, waving a hand dismissively. “Nosy reporter, and all.” There. That should move the conversation back into familiar, safe territory.</p>
<p>And Minion did look a little relieved. She felt bad putting him on the spot like that. He was very protective of Megamind—and his privacy.</p>
<p>The car came to a stop outside of Roxanne’s apartment, and she stepped out. “Thanks again,” she said warmly.</p>
<p>“You’re welcome.”</p>
<p>She turned to go, but Minion’s tentative voice stopped her.</p>
<p>“Miss Ritchi? If…” He hesitated. “If I tell you something, can you promise me it’ll stay off the record?”</p>
<p>She nodded. “Of course.”</p>
<p>He paused, and then shook himself and gave her a determined look. “If you want to know more, you should try asking your boyfriend about his time at school.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Roxie! Roxaroo! How’s it hanging? Sorry again I couldn’t make it the other day. Jeez—if it wasn’t for that class! Did I mention that? I’ve been taking this really kickass, like, this taekwondo class—I mean—it’s this thing—it’s for people who are already really good at taekwondo? Like, basically masters? Anyway, I would’ve left and come in if they called me—just to help you out, you know—but I guess Doug said he could do it. Bet you missed me, though, right?”</p><p>Roxanne rubbed her temple. She hadn’t even had her coffee yet! Hal had apologized, and re-apologized, and told her about his ‘kickass class’ every morning this week. It was <em>exhausting</em>. “Doug was fine, Hal. He did a good job.”</p><p>“Yeah, but not, like… not, like, <em>really</em> good. But sure—Doug’s okay, I guess. So, what’s on the agenda?” he asked, leaning over her desk and leering at her computer.</p><p>“We have that interview with Leslie from the Parks Department this afternoon—and don’t be late. I have a dinner with Wayne at 5:00, so I’d like to wrap by 4:30, if we can.”</p><p>Hal frowned. “Right, yeah. Metro Man. So, you two are still going strong, huh?”</p><p>“Strong as ever,” she intoned, smiling coolly.</p><p>His expression dimmed into an apathetic daze. “Awesome. That’s great.”</p><p>Well, that took care of <em>that</em>. Although she hated outright lying about her relationship with Wayne, she was more than happy to give credence to the rumors. Allowing people to believe in a fake relationship was just… simpler.</p><p>She and Wayne genuinely enjoyed spending time together, so it was easy enough to call their get-togethers ‘dates,’ but friendship was as far as their relationship would ever go. He wasn’t really interested in the humans, and she generally had too much on her plate for a normal relationship—not to mention the fact that she wasn’t the least bit attracted to him.</p><p>He had assured her he was fine with admitting that they had never dated if she ever <em>did</em> find someone, but for now, they were both happy to let the public assume they were ‘taken’ so they didn’t have to deal with any unwanted attention.</p><p>“If he bails, maybe we could grab a bite together? There’s this new pizza place downtown that looks super wicked. We could check it out.”</p><p>Well. <em>Most</em> unwanted attention.</p><p>“No thanks, Hal,” she answered sharply.</p><p>“I mean—just as friends! Obviously. Let me know.” And with that, he sauntered away from her desk.</p><p>She let out a frustrated groan. It could be worse. Though he always skated along the border of ‘inappropriate,’ he had never <em>quite</em> crossed over that line. She wished he’d just give it up already, but no matter how many times she politely turned him down, he never seemed to take the hint.</p><p>She stretched her neck from side to side and let out a long, slow breath, trying to relax, and get Hal out of her head. She had more important things to think about. Like her dinner with Wayne and how the hell she was going to broach the subject of her current obsession. She suspected a direct approach might be best—otherwise he’d probably try to avoid answering her, as usual.</p><p>He had already hemmed and hawed when she told him she wanted to meet up. She knew his schedule was tight, but the myriad of questions buzzing around in her brain were driving her crazy! She felt like she’d finally been given the damn cipher to crack the code of Megamind’s… mind. Or personality. Or <em>whatever</em>! She needed answers!</p><p>When she got home after the last plot, she had done a little ‘research’ into Megamind’s education, since Minion had hinted that school was the key. But her digital stalking had turned up very little. He had been registered at Metro City Central in high school, but that was the most she could find.</p><p>So, she had looked into Wayne’s academic background instead—by texting him and asking where he went to high school. ‘<em>Metro City Central. Why?</em>’ had been his reply. Bingo!</p><p>She hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it since. She had literally lain awake at night, wondering what might have happened, and how it had shaped the hero and the villain.</p><p>She scowled at her computer screen, drumming her fingers on her desk. She was going to be absolutely useless today.</p><p>x.x.x.x.x</p><p>Wayne kept glancing at her as they were seated, his brows furrowed in question. She knew he was curious as to why she’d called him out—especially since she refused to explain via text. They usually only did dinner dates when something big was going on, so his suspicions were no doubt aroused.</p><p>Their server brought two waters, and a small basket of bread, and then smiled timidly, saying she’d give them a few minutes to look over the menu. Once the girl had departed, Roxanne began. “Wayne… I’m going to ask you something, and I absolutely need you to answer.” She paused and waited for him to meet her gaze. “You and Megamind went to school together, didn’t you?”</p><p>His eyes went wide as he choked on the mouthful of bread he’d just started chewing. He had to pound his chest to stop the fit of coughing. After gulping down his entire glass of water, he looked up at her. “Jeez, Roxie. What the heck brought this on?”</p><p>She pursed her lips, opting to ignore his deflection. “Did you?” she reiterated.</p><p>His mouth twisted into something like a frown, and then he let out a heavy sigh. “Who told you? Because I know he didn’t.”</p><p>“So, you did know him back then?”</p><p>“Yeah, I did.”</p><p>She lifted her eyebrows in request for more of an answer and he grimaced.</p><p>“Okay. So—I first met him in grade school.”</p><p>Huh. She kept her face blank as she absorbed the new information.</p><p>“Long story short, we didn’t get along,” he said, picking at a piece of lint on the tablecloth. “He was always causing trouble. No matter how hard he tried, he didn’t fit in. To be honest, I didn’t either, but everyone liked me for it. I think that double-standard really grated at him.” He looked over ruefully. “And I was petrified of being labelled as an outsider, so I was more than happy to let him take on that role. Eventually, he just, sort of accepted it. He ended up pulling this stunt that got him expelled.”</p><p>She frowned. “What kind of stunt?”</p><p>“He basically made a bomb—out of some cleaning supplies, I think.”</p><p>Her eyes went wide.</p><p>“Not like a <em>bomb</em> bomb,” Wayne added quickly. “Closer to a paint bomb. It made everything blue. It was more like a big ‘eff you’ to the class, than anything. I guess he was home schooled after that. I think the warden just got him whatever books he needed, and he basically taught himself.” He shrugged. “I didn’t see him for years.”</p><p>“… And then?” she prodded when he went silent.</p><p>He nodded. “And then. High school. I’m pretty sure the warden sent him back to public school as a last-ditch effort to get him to settle down—to socialize, and stuff—but… it kind of backfired.” He cringed. “I mean, to be fair, Megamind was already pretty mad at the world by that point. And mentally, he was so far above the rest of us—and the teachers, for that matter.  He made everyone around him feel stupid. And he was dramatic. And weird. And he <em>hated</em> me—and everyone else <em>liked</em> me, so… we all kind of turned against him?”</p><p>Roxanne narrowed her eyes. “Turned against him, how?” she said slowly, trying to keep the acidity from her tone. She did <em>not</em> like where this was headed.</p><p>The guilt was practically oozing from his expression. “I don’t know—the usual? Teased him? Gave him a hard time? He was already such a loner, but… everyone sort of made sure he knew it. He ended up dropping out halfway through senior year. Started the supervillain gig after that.”</p><p>“Wayne.” She didn’t even try to keep the disappointment from her voice.</p><p>He cowered. “I know.”</p><p>She shook her head in disbelief. She wasn’t <em>entirely</em> surprised—obviously <em>something </em>bad had happened between them—but… she had expected better from Wayne. “That’s… horrible. Why didn’t you tell me about this?”</p><p>He gave her an exasperated scowl. “What was I supposed to say? ‘Sorry that blue guy’s kidnapping you—might be because me and my friends used to pick on him?’”</p><p>“It would’ve been a good start,” she snapped.</p><p>“Look—it was a long time ago,” he snapped back, getting defensive. “And we had pretty much moved past it by the time he started kidnapping you. Besides—” he interjected with a broad sweep of his arm, “—it’s not like he didn’t give what he got. He wasn’t just some victim. He was as mean as we were—<em>meaner</em> even. He was an angry kid!”</p><p>“I’m not surprised!” she shot back. “It sounds like he was lashing out because he felt cornered! Bullying can have some pretty severe long-term consequences! Did it never occur to you that maybe <em>that’s</em> why he became a supervillain?”</p><p>“Of course it did! But what was I supposed to do about?”</p><p>“Oh—I don’t know—did you ever try <em>apologizing</em>?”</p><p>“Yes!” he shouted. “Yes, I did, dammit! It was right after that Bubbles of Death plot! You left early because your mom was in town, and me and Megamind were waiting for the cops. We got to talking, and it was almost <em>friendly</em>! So I said, ‘sorry I was so hard on you when we were kids.’ And do you know what he did? He fricking <em>laughed</em> at me. Told me not to waste my time. Said I gave him a purpose, and to leave it at that. So, <em>yes</em>! I felt bad! I apologized! He accepted! The end!” he finished, slicing his arms through the air in a conclusive ‘cutoff’ gesture, the wind of which ruffled Roxanne’s hair.</p><p>A weighted silence hung in the air as they both realized they’d been arguing rather loudly. Their server was watching from across the room, clearly too terrified to approach and take their order. Wayne cleared his throat and straightened up, his brows still knitted together.</p><p>“Sorry,” he murmured.</p><p>Roxanne inclined her head silently and then sighed. “You don’t really believe it’s as simple as that, do you?”</p><p>He shook his head. “No… I don’t. But, I… I don’t know what I can do about it. He’s not interested in anything I have to say.”</p><p>He picked up his menu and hunched forward, staring into it, and she followed suit.</p><p>“Honestly, I feel like <em>you’d</em> have a better chance of getting through to him than I would,” he muttered.</p><p>She scrunched her face, looking up at him. “Me? Why?”</p><p>“Oh, come on. Isn’t it obvious?” he said, dropping the menu, his brows raised.</p><p>“I don’t know what you mean.”</p><p>“Well—first of all, he respects your opinion a heck of a lot more than mine. And second—I’m pretty sure he’s got a thing for you.”</p><p>She blinked. And blinked again. Then frowned, her eyes drifting to the decorative floral centerpiece without really seeing it.</p><p>No, that… that couldn’t be right. He was always so <em>professional</em> with her. He never even called her by her first name. Yes, they occasionally pseudo-flirted, but… that was all part of his persona. It was just banter.</p><p>They weren’t like that. They couldn’t be… could they?</p><p>She glanced back at Wayne, who was looking obnoxiously smug. “Oh, shut it,” she said with a scowl. “You’re imagining things.”</p><p>He shrugged. “Either way, you’re a way better choice than me. At best, he doesn’t trust me. At worst, he hates me. And even if he’s not interested in you, he <em>at least</em> likes you.”</p><p>She scrunched her face again, but she couldn’t really argue on that point. She and Megamind did have a rapport…</p><p>Still. She was hesitant to talk to him about <em>any</em> of this until she had a clearer understanding of the situation. And a more well-defined objective. What was her goal? The main thing she really cared about was not seeing him hurt again, but beyond that…?</p><p>And what was <em>his</em> goal? What did <em>he</em> want…?</p><p>She sighed and forced herself to start reading the menu, letting the new questions simmer.</p><p>For now, she’d just hold steady and keep her cards close to her chest.</p><p>x.x.x.x.x</p><p>A pair of camerabots, Orville and D-83, ‘bowged’ merrily behind him as Megamind carried his unconscious captive down the pier. A pair of gawking onlookers stared, frozen in terror, until he snarled at them to ‘get lost.’ His presence alone was usually enough to keep people away when an evil plot was about to ensue, but every once in a while, they needed an extra little ‘push.’</p><p>Slowly, gently, he lowered Miss Ritchi onto one of the benches. He arranged her into a comfortable seated position—careful not to touch her any more than necessary—and began tying her up. Once she was secure, he took a moment to stare out over the water. The sky was overcast and the waves choppy. He smiled; his lip caught between his teeth.</p><p>Today was going to be a good day—he was sure of it!</p><p>The ominous weather was the perfect backdrop for his plot. The only potential problem was the band of rain on the horizon. But really, it was a minor concern. He’d sent Minion and the rest of brainbots into the city to keep things quiet, so there was absolutely <em>no chance</em> of Metro Man being delayed this time! The ensuing battles rarely took more than fifteen minutes, tops, so, by his estimation, the entire plot should be wrapped up long before the storm arrived.</p><p>Still. He knelt down and affixed the small black anti-ionization field generator under the boards of Roxanne’s bench. Better safe than sorry. Now, all he had to do was to set up. He tossed a gleaming blue cube out into the water, where it exploded into a hulking shape and sank below the waves with a gurgling slosh.</p><p>Done!</p><p>He grinned at his own little joke and cast a quick glance over his shoulder at Roxanne, who was just beginning to stir.</p><p>Right! Time to begin!</p><p>He turned toward the dark shadowy shape, still settling in the water, and put both hands on the railing. Yes, this seemed like a grand-ish pose. He nodded to one of the brainbots and then stood as tall as he could. There was a soft rustling as they pulled the bag from her head.</p><p>“My dear Miss Ritchi,” he purred before spinning about to face her, his cape swishing behind him, “Metrocity’s own scintillating siren. Are you ready to lure a certain virtuous soul to his doom?”</p><p>She stared at him dazedly for a moment, her lips slightly parted, before shaking her head and coming back to herself. “Megamind.” She glanced around, her brows coming together. “Doesn’t look that like there’s much doom to be had,” she said flatly. “Did you forget to set up again?”</p><p>He bristled for a moment—that had only happened <em>one</em> time! But he quickly brushed the irritation off.</p><p>“Oh, I can assure you, there is doom aplenty in these watery depths!” he said, steepling his fingers together. “More than your daring hero will know what to do with. Now—” he lifted one hand to the air, while the other surreptitiously went for the remote clipped to his belt “—if you wouldn’t mind raising your melodious voice to the air, I—”</p><p>“—<em>Or</em>,” she interrupted, cutting him off before he could cue the bots, “we could <em>skip</em> all that, and you could just—let me go.”</p><p>“But I thought you enjoyed having an <em>unimpeded</em> view of the show, Miss Ritchi.”</p><p>Her eyes widened slightly—ah good, she remembered their conversation—and he reveled in the soft, astonished smile that briefly touched her lips before it shifted into her standard smirk. “I might enjoy it a little more if my seat weren’t covered in splinters,” she retorted dryly. “Maybe you could manage something with cushions next time?”</p><p>“So <em>demanding</em>!” he complained dramatically, barely concealing a grin. “What next? Shall I bring you a beverage? Or would you like one of the brainbots to massage your shoulders while you watch?”</p><p>She wrinkled her nose. “A massage from one of them kind of seems like it would hurt. I know—how about a clean bag, instead? Or <em>no</em> bag!”</p><p>“Now you’re just being ridiculous.”</p><p>She laughed. “Well, at least you picked a nice location again. Three for three. Not bad.”</p><p>Yes—what a perfect in! “It <em>is</em> quite a lovely vista,” he said, gesturing broadly at the bay with one hand, while the other settle over the remote again, “but surely you’ve learned by now—” he began stalking toward her “—absolutely <em>everything </em>I do is bad.”</p><p>And with that, he pressed the top button on the remote, and the giant squid-like robot lunged out of the water behind him, rearing its tentacles in the air and looming threateningly over him and Roxanne, who was—</p><p>Well. She wasn’t screaming. But she looked surprised! He considered that a win.</p><p>“How do you like my <em>diabolical</em> Kraken-bot?”</p><p>She frowned, tipping her head to the side. “Kind of mixing your mythologies, aren’t you?”</p><p>“Oh pssh!” he scoffed. “Mythologies are meant to be mixed! Just ask 1980’s Hollywood. Or Neil Gaiman.” He smiled evilly, pressing the second button on the remote, and—</p><p>—nothing happened.</p><p>His smile went a bit taut, his eyebrows rising. He pressed the button again.</p><p>Nothing.</p><p>“I’m guessing that’s supposed to do something?” she asked, the faintest hint of a smirk at the corner of her lips.</p><p>He glared.</p><p>And turned to face the bot.</p><p>Pressed the button again.</p><p>And growled.</p><p>The bot was supposed to lower itself and the hatch at the top would pop open so he could climb inside. He had <em>tested</em> it! <em>So many times</em>!</p><p>Why couldn’t things <em>ever</em> just—work! For once!</p><p>He turned back to Roxanne, his brows low over his eyes, his lips pressed together. “Just—give me a minute.”</p><p>x.x.x.x.x</p><p>“This is a bad idea,” Roxanne all but yelled as a spray of water cascaded down around her.</p><p>Megamind glanced at her over his shoulder from where he was perched on the top of the Kraken-bot, and grimaced. “Just—just one more minute,” he called. “I’m almost done.”</p><p>It had been nearly an hour. At first, he’d thought the problem was with the remote—maybe one of the wires had been jostled loose—but after disassembling and reassembling the thing, it became clear that there was a problem was the Kraken-bot itself. So, he’d had the brainbots lift him over to the thing, and he’d opened up the watertight control panel—</p><p>—and by that point, he didn’t <em>care</em> that he could just release the hatch manually, because he was <em>up to his</em> <em>elbows</em>, and he was <em>committed</em>, and he was <em>going to fix the damn problem</em>!</p><p>Orville hovered nearby, a fully expanded tool kit in two of his arms, while the other arms handed and retrieved whatever was needed. D-83, the more bitey of the two, was acting as the safety sentry—Megamind had nearly slipped once already, but thankfully he’d managed to catch himself before he slid too far.</p><p>At least he had finally figured out what was wrong.</p><p>Unfortunately, the approaching storm was sending everything to hell. The wind had picked up and was whipping the lake into a veritable frenzy of pounding waves that beat against the pier, sending plumes into the air.</p><p>And yes, wires, and circuits, and water didn’t mix—but he was <em>so close</em>!</p><p>“You need to call this off!” Roxanne shouted over the wind. “This is dangerous! We need to head in!”</p><p>He gritted his teeth. Things <em>were</em> getting a bit dicey. But he was already frustrated. And tired. And when he got frustrated and tired, he also got obstinately determined to press on until he succeeded. Or passed out. Whichever came first.</p><p>Another wave crashed against the pier and a few errant droplets of water dripped unpleasantly down the back of his neck. Roxanne grumbled below him. He hunched over the control panel, shielding it from the wind, and exhaled slowly. He needed to relax. This was delicate. But if he could… just… slowly… <em>carefully</em>… and… there. That should do it.</p><p>He handed everything back to Orville, who diligently stowed it away, and closed the panel. With a silent plea to the evil gods, he tightened his hold so he wouldn’t get thrown, and pressed the remote.</p><p>The Kraken-bot <em>finally</em> lowered itself, so it was level with the pier, and the hatch sprang open.</p><p>With an exuberant cry, he threw a fist into the air, celebrating his success—just about the same time he heard Roxanne shouting his name.</p><p>Before he could turn to look, a massive wave crashed over the robot, washing him off the side of the machine. A pair of claws caught him under the arms before he could land in the water below. D-83 quickly lifted him to the pier and dropped him like a sack of rocks. With a wince, Megamind scrambled to his feet and spun around to face Roxanne.</p><p>Another behemoth wave crashed into the pier, battering them both, and forcing Megamind to grab hold of the railing so he wasn’t swept off his feet. Roxanne gasped as the water receded, her eyes wide and her face pale.</p><p>Oh god—she looked half drowned!</p><p>Okay—no. This could not continue. He ran over and began fumbling with her bindings before hissing in frustration and pulling out the De-Gun at his side. “Don’t move,” he ordered, spinning the gun to the destroy setting, pressing the muzzle directly against the knotted rope, and holding the trigger for a few moments. The rope glowed blue and then fragmented into nothingness.</p><p>Roxanne leapt to her feet, grabbing his arm. “Come on!” she shouted, dragging him down the pier and away from the buffeting spray of water.</p><p>“B-but—” he hesitated, casting a glance back at the Kraken-bot—<em>finally</em> in working order. Maybe she could go on without him, and—</p><p>“Leave it!”</p><p>He let out a frustrated whine but let her tug him along. “Orville! D-83!” he called, and the bots came hovering along behind them.</p><p>As soon as they reached the sand, the clouds opened up, sending a torrential downpour onto their already drenched skin. Roxanne slowed and looked frantically around for somewhere to take shelter.</p><p>“Over here!” Megamind shouted, tugging her toward a spot a few yards off the beach. He could just make out the telltale shimmer and spatial distortion of the invisible car as they approached—he never could get the background replicator to work quite right. He led Roxanne to the passenger side and opened the door for her before freezing. He somehow couldn’t bring himself to shove her into the car while she was still conscious—which he knew was ridiculous, but—</p><p>She climbed in and closed the door behind herself.</p><p>Oh.</p><p>Right. Good. Okay.</p><p>He opened the back door for the bots, and they hovered inside, still carrying the toolbox. Two blasts from the dehydration setting turned them into blue cubes—Megamind had learned the hard way that the car’s interior and brainbot claws didn’t mix. He climbed in on the driver’s side and slammed the door.</p><p>The rain pelted loudly against the car’s steel body, almost covering the sound of his and Roxanne’s heavy breathing. After a moment, she began scrubbing a hand through her hair, making the tousled strands stick out, and then wiped the droplets from her face and arms before looking over at him, her clear blue eyes framed by wet lashes, a sheen of water still glistening on her skin.</p><p>God, she was beautiful.</p><p>He swallowed, dropping his gaze as guilt roiled in his stomach, and began brushing the water off as well. His cape was absolutely sodden. He hated to be without his collar and spikes, but… it was preferable to being wrapped in wet fabric for the foreseeable future. He unclasped the cape and mantle and tossed them in the back seat, careful not to drip on the bot-cubes. Minion was going to throw a fit when the fabric dried full of wrinkles, but Megamind couldn’t care less at this point.</p><p>It had been one humiliation after another… Story of his life, really.</p><p>He gazed out the window—he could just make out the shadow of the Kraken-bot beside the pier. He stared at it bitterly for a moment, and then sighed in resolve, and pressed the third button on the remote—the one he <em>really</em> didn’t think he’d have to use—officially bringing an end to this failure of a plot. The machine sank below the waves. It should be able to navigate back to the Evil Lair on its own—at least he didn’t have to worry about cleaning up this time.</p><p>A small mercy.</p><p>“Well, that was exciting,” Roxanne said, drawing him out of his thoughts.</p><p>He glanced over and was shocked to find her smiling. Why was she smiling? This entire situation was horrible. She was soaking wet! She should be furious!</p><p>She pulled her blue blouse away from her skin, trying to gently wring the fabric dry. “I can’t believe you managed to fix it in the middle of all of that. That was… uh… that was pretty impressive.” She looked over. “I’m sorry we got rained out.”</p><p>And that made even less sense. She was <em>complimenting</em> him? She was <em>sorry</em> the plot got disrupted?</p><p>Before he could analyze this confusing interaction further, a sudden shiver wracked through her and she began rubbing her hands up and down her bare arms.</p><p>“Oh!” he exclaimed, feeling even worse. Though the water of the lake still clung to the warmth of summer, the rain was cold, and there was a definite autumn chill in the air. “Um—hang on. Let me just—” He turned on the car and turned up the heat, full blast.</p><p>Roxanne made a pleased noise and put her hands up against the vent. “Thanks.”</p><p>Megamind nodded and then sighed. “In the glovebox,” he said begrudgingly, “there’s a phone. You can call Metro Man, if you want.”</p><p>There was a moment of silence. “You’re not going to offer me a ride home?”</p><p>He looked over in surprise. “Do you want me to?” he said, perplexed.</p><p>“I wouldn’t say no,” she said with a wry smile.</p><p>And oh, his heart did a ridiculous fluttering thing at that. Clearly, his heart was an idiot.</p><p>“Yeah. O-okay. I can do that.” He put the car into gear and pulled out of the parking lot and onto the street, the wipers swishing back and forth across the windshield.</p><p>Roxanne sighed and leaned back more comfortably in the seat. After a few moments of silence, she cleared her throat with a sidelong glance at him. “So. Tell me about yourself.”</p><p>“… What?”</p><p>She rolled her eyes. “Look—considering how long we’ve known each other, I really don’t know that much about you. Like, what do you do for fun? Aside from the supervillain stuff,” she added, when he raised a quizzical brow.</p><p>“The ‘supervillain stuff’ takes up most of my time,” he answered honestly.</p><p>“Well, what do you do to unwind at the end of the day?”</p><p>He stared blankly at the road. How did he unwind? Simple. He watched the ‘Metro City Moments’ with Roxanne Ritchi most evenings. Sometimes twice. Or more. God, he was pathetic.</p><p>Apparently, his discomfort was written across his face, because Roxanne quickly went on. “I promise, this is just between us. Just… a normal conversation. To pass the time.”</p><p>He blinked. To pass the time? Ah… Yes. That made more sense—they’d done this before. Passing time—<em>that</em> he could understand. “I really don’t ‘unwind’ very often,” he said, making air quotes with one hand, “but I do enjoy music—as I’m sure you’ve guessed.” Many of his plots had musical backdrops. “I am also partial to movies. And books,” he amended. “And games,” he amended again.</p><p>Well. He enjoyed <em>some</em> games—games that didn’t involve a playground full of grade-schoolers beating him to a pulp with dodgeballs. Or a table of classmates in the lunchroom yelling and laughing in disgust at ‘would you rather kiss the blue freak or lick a toilet seat.’</p><p>But he had enjoyed playing twenty questions with Roxanne during the last plot. He enjoyed her kinds of games. “And what about yourself?” he asked, relaxing a little. “How do you unwind, Miss Ritchi?” He lifted a brow in a parody of his typical villainous manner and cast a glance at her.</p><p>She grinned. “You named a lot of them. Movies, music, books… I bike sometimes. And I used to do theater a lot when I was a kid.”</p><p>“Theater?” he said, his brows raising. “You act?”</p><p>She stared down at her hands, bashfully. “Yeah, a little. I was never very good, but—I enjoyed it. And I liked being in front of an audience. It’s kind of what led me to journalism, actually.” She looked up, her cheeks pink.</p><p>And he couldn’t help but smile. “What else?” he asked eagerly.</p><p>“I like gardening in theory, but I kind of have a black thumb. I tried growing tomatoes on my balcony once, but they got every possible disease in the book. On top of that, things were starting to pick up at KMCP, so I wasn’t the best about watering consistently.” She made a face. “Long story short, they didn’t make it.”</p><p>His eyes went wide. “I remember those tomatoes!” His lip curled in disgust. “Yes. They were quite a sad sight—with their, droopy, wilty, aphid covered leaves, and their misshapen, sun-scorched fruit. Blech!”</p><p>She cringed through her laugh. “They really were bad.”</p><p>“Positively evil,” he agreed. “But—to be fair—I’m almost certain that was the year I started kidnapping you. I may have been partly to blame there.”</p><p>She smirked. “Maybe a little.”</p><p>The conversation lulled for a moment, and Megamind gazed at the shape of Metro Tower, rising over the buildings in front of them. Her apartment wasn’t far from it. They’d be there soon. “I do have… another hobby,” he murmured. “I like to build things…”</p><p>“… Yeah?” she nudged. “Like… like the robots?”</p><p>A small line appeared between his brows. “No… I mean, yes—I like building those, but… these are different. These aren’t <em>for</em> anything.”</p><p>“Oh?” Her tone was gently curious; inviting but not demanding an explanation.</p><p>He glanced at her, feeling strangely emboldened. “They’re sort of like sculptures. Kinetic. They—uh—they <em>move</em>.”</p><p>Her face lit up. “That sounds amazing! I’d love see them sometime. Are they at the Lair?”</p><p>He hesitated, suddenly wary. This wouldn’t be the first time someone had attempted to draw him into something under false pretenses. But… no. Roxanne wasn’t like that. And she hadn’t given him any reason to be suspicious. “Yes,” he finally answered. “They are. I… suppose I could… show you? If you want.”</p><p>“Great!” she said brightly, as he brought the car to a park outside of her building. “So, next kidnapping?”</p><p>“Yes. I… I could make that work.” He rarely hosted plots in the Evil Lair, but it wouldn’t be the first time. Besides, the off chance that she might use the opportunity to figure out the location of his hideout was the least of his concerns about this plan.</p><p>“When do you think it’ll be?”</p><p>“Well, since this was a bust, I could probably put something together as soon as—” He blinked, and then feigned a glare. “Nosy reporter,” he chastised.</p><p>She laughed. “Can’t blame a girl for trying,” she said, as she opened the door. “I’ll be looking forward to it—whenever it happens. And thank you, for the ride.” She gave him a final warm smile before climbing out of the car, shutting the door behind her, and running through the rain to her building.</p><p>He stared after her for a moment, his heart once again fluttering, and then he exhaled a slow, deep breath, and forced himself to come back down to earth.</p><p>This was… an aberrant day. An anomaly. That’s all.</p><p>This wasn’t how things were—not really.</p><p>Accept it.</p><p>He unclasped his wet gloves, slid them down his arms and tossed them on the passenger seat. He stared at his pruney blue fingers for a moment before sighing and tightening one hand around the steering wheel and putting the car into gear.</p><p>He’d be a fool to forget who and what he was.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This chapter fought me.</p><p>Storms on Lake Michigan can be epic.</p><p>Kinetic sculptures are awesome.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Son of a—” Roxanne swore and furiously tossed the cheaply made magazine down on her desk, along with her purse. She bit down on another bout of profanity as she glared at the offending headline.</p>
<p>“Whoa! What’s the beef, Roxaroo?”</p>
<p>She spun around in surprise and found Hal a half step behind her. Jeez—how the heck had he gotten here so fast? She had <em>just</em> walked in! His gaze was fixed on magazine’s the all-caps banner, ‘<em>RELATIONSHIP ON THE ROCKS? INSIDE SOURCE TELLS ALL!</em>’ plastered over a picture of what looked like her and Wayne shouting at each other in a <em>very</em> familiar restaurant.</p>
<p>Dammit. Stupid tabloids.</p>
<p>His eyes darted back to hers. “Oh no—are you two fighting? That’s so—I’m <em>so sorry</em>! Aw Rox, do you need a hug?” He gave her a smarmy smile and opened his arms.</p>
<p>Ugh. He couldn’t be more ingenuine if he tried. “We’re fine, Hal. It was just an argument. Honestly, I’m more annoyed with whoever took that photo.”</p>
<p>“Listen—it’s okay if you need to cry. I just want you to know that I am <em>here</em> for you,” he said, putting a hand on her shoulder and staring into her eyes so intently it made her skin crawl.</p>
<p>She gritted her teeth, both at the uninvited physical contact, and at the fact that he’d completely disregarded what she just said. “Look,” she said, shrugging his hand off and taking a step back, “I appreciate your sympathy, but as I said, I’m perfectly fine. If that’s all, then I really should get to work. I’ll see you at the shoot tomorrow afternoon.”</p>
<p>He recoiled sharply. “Sure. Yeah. Obviously,” he muttered, scowling. “Well, that hug’s still on the table if you change your mind. Or, you know, lunch or whatever,” he added before walking off in a huff.</p>
<p>She stared after him blankly. Good lord. Was he really that dense? She was tempted to ignore his social awkwardness for the sake of their working relationship, but he made it so damn difficult. And the way he reacted anytime she did rebuff him outright was a little unsettling.</p>
<p>Arg. There was no way to win with him.</p>
<p>She flopped down in her seat, opened to the article and began thumbing through it. Thankfully, it was devoid of details beyond the fact that she and Wayne had traded words. She breathed a sigh of relief. It would be awful if the subject of their argument came to light like this—especially if the <em>actual</em> subject read about it.</p>
<p>She sighed and let her thoughts drift to the villain for the millionth time. He had implied that he would try to throw something together quickly, but it had been over two weeks since the last plot and still no sign of him.</p>
<p>Was it weird that she was growing impatient? She’d grown to enjoy her role as a hostage over the years, but this was the first time she was actually <em>excited</em> for a kidnapping. Every day as she walked to and from the office, she crossed her fingers that she would be blasted in the face by knockout spray.</p>
<p>She grimaced.</p>
<p>Yes. That was definitely weird.</p>
<p>But dammit! What was taking him so long?</p>
<p>x.x.x.x.x</p>
<p>Megamind kept his face carefully nonchalant as gathered the rope under Minion’s watchful gaze.</p>
<p>“So… you want to start the plot here because… it’ll be easier to fix things if something goes wrong?” the fish said skeptically.</p>
<p>“Precisely,” Megamind exclaimed with as much enthusiasm as he could muster. “I’m glad you understand.”</p>
<p>“Okaaaay,” said Minion, eyeing Megamind hard. “And… you want me and the brainbots to patrol the city again?”</p>
<p>“<em>Yes</em>! <em>Exactly</em>! Code: Keep the city quiet so there’s <em>no chance</em> that Metro Man will be delayed—just like last time!”</p>
<p>Oh, <em>please</em> let him buy it. Megamind <em>really</em> didn’t feel like explaining why today’s plot needed to be at the Lair, and he <em>really</em> didn’t want anyone around when he showed Roxanne the garden and the sculptures. He still wasn’t quite sure about how to handle things—and having a judgey Minion around would only make it more complicated.</p>
<p>Minion stared at him flatly. “Uh huh.”</p>
<p>Damn. He definitely wasn’t buying it. “Look—I know you’re not as <em>enthusiastic</em> about today’s plot as I am, but I need you to keep the rest of the city in line. In addition to the usual shenanigans, the boys on the north side have been causing no end of trouble. We need to remind them that there are <em>rules</em> in this city. Can you do that?”</p>
<p>“Of course, Sir,” Minion said reluctantly. “It’s just… are you sure now is the best time for a plot—after that fight between Miss Ritchi and Metro Man?”</p>
<p>No. He really, <em>really</em> wasn’t sure. For <em>so many</em> reasons. He’d been second guessing this plan from the moment he agreed to it. And then he’d had to delay, waiting for a day with the right wind conditions. And, of course, when he was finally ready, that article had been released—the metaphorical cherry on top of his mountain of doubts.</p>
<p>But. He’d already come too far. He couldn’t back out now.</p>
<p>So, he faked a scoff. “<em>Yes</em>, I’m sure! First of all, you can’t believe <em>anything</em> written in the Metro Exposé, and secondly, what better way to knock some sense into that blockheaded dunce than to <em>literally</em> knock some sense into him?”</p>
<p>“Riiiiiiiiight.”</p>
<p>“Great! Perfect! Yes! Well—off you go! You’ll need to get everything situated before I head out to get Rox—ngh—<em>Miss Ritchi</em>! Ahahaha!” He was positive he looked absolutely manic right now.</p>
<p>Minion offered an unconvinced hum but began organizing the bots into teams.</p>
<p>Thank the evil gods.</p>
<p>Megamind left him to it and quickly retreated to the western hangar. He wasn’t really surprised by Minion’s suspicion—they rarely hosted plots at the Evil Lair. Most of the time it wasn’t worth the effort, trying to keep their base a secret while drawing the battle right to it. Given Metro Man’s obnoxious gift of x-ray vision, he had probably figured out their location years ago, but the rest of the city definitely <em>hadn’t</em>, and Megamind intended to keep it that way.</p>
<p>Today, the plan was to take to the skies before things got started. His footsteps echoed as he strode purposefully through the cavernous hangar, home to all of his airborne creations. He’d curtained off anything <em>not </em>related to today’s plot, and the army of Battle Beetles stood at attention, perched upon row after row of shelving, ready to take flight.</p>
<p>… At least he hoped so. After the last embarrassing debacle, he was certainly going to check every facet of their programming. Especially since he and Roxanne would be surrounded by a swarming cloud of them. On top of that, he needed to do a final check on the Beetlemobile—a convertible-like derivative of the hovebike with a slightly beetle-ish design.</p>
<p>Hey! He needed a plot-related way to get both he and Roxanne out of the Lair! Any naysayers could piss off, for all he cared. At least his entire <em>persona</em> wasn’t beetle related! He didn’t have a <em>Beetlecave</em>!</p>
<p>Megamind made his way to one of the computers against the wall. He began typing rapidly, pulling up the beetles’ code and pouring through it. If he kept himself busy enough, maybe his thoughts would stop swirling around what a horrible, terrible, god-awful decision-that-would-haunt-him-for-the-rest-of-his-life this was. <em>So much</em> potential for humiliation!</p>
<p>Not to mention—<em>gah</em>! That <em>damn</em> article!</p>
<p>… What if it wasn’t a sham? What if the fight was real? They certainly looked angry in that picture.</p>
<p>Well. He was sure Metro Man would show up to save the day, even if he and Roxanne were at odds—the dolt was too ‘good’ not to. But if they <em>were</em> fighting, and Metro Man <em>did</em> show up, maybe Roxanne would be so happy that she’d forgive whatever transgression the idiot had surely committed. Megamind cringed at the idea that he might actually repair their relationship.</p>
<p>Still. He <em>definitely</em> couldn’t back out now—not after doubling down with Minion. This was happening. Oh god.</p>
<p>Hopefully Roxanne wasn’t too upset. He’d hate it if he somehow made things worse. Then again, if she did need some cheering up, a peek into the secrets of the Lair would probably do the trick. And the sculptures might help. They were… soothing. To look at. He hoped.</p>
<p>… What if she hated them?</p>
<p>Or worse—what if this was all some kind of trap or something? The thought that she might be playing him made his stomach turn.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, it was a thought that he couldn’t put to rest, no matter how many times he repeated ‘Roxanne isn’t that kind of person’ to himself. Because even though she <em>wasn’t</em> that kind of person, he also couldn’t think of better explanation for her sudden interest than that she wanted a chance to investigate the Lair. It was the only thing that made sense.</p>
<p>But… she had seemed so genuine.</p>
<p>Arg—this was <em>so</em> far from the realm of normal!</p>
<p>He chewed on his lip, his brows low over his eyes. Oh, to hell with it! Her motivation didn’t really matter anyway. If she wanted to get a peek at the Lair, so be it—he’d hidden anything important anyway. Besides, he’d be with her the whole time.</p>
<p>And if she really did just want to get to know him? Well. He could understand that. She was naturally curious. And he was an oddity. If that was her angle, so be it. If it meant spending more time with her…</p>
<p>He wasn’t about to let this opportunity pass him by. He pushed down the nagging voice still shouting a warning at the back of his mind and went back to checking the code.</p>
<p>x.x.x.x.x</p>
<p>A cool breeze kissed Roxanne’s neck, rousing her from her drug-induced slumber. The smell of musty burlap assaulted her nose, but her bound wrists made it impossible to remove the bag. She let out a soft huff and opened her eyes but couldn’t make out much through the tightly woven cloth. She vaguely remembered walking back to the office after lunch, and hearing the invisible car pull up beside her about a block from the KMCP building.</p>
<p>A smile quirked at the corner of her lips. About time.</p>
<p>“Megamind?” she voiced softly.</p>
<p>She heard a startled noise and rustle of fabric to her left. “Ah—M-miss Ritchi! You’re awake! Yes. That’s—that’s good.”</p>
<p>Oh, for Pete’s sake. He sounded almost frantic! He had seemed a bit trepidatious when he told her about his hobby in the first place, but she didn’t realize he would be this nervous.</p>
<p>He cleared his throat and took a sharp breath, no doubt trying to compose himself. “So,” he said, his voice lower and nearly back to its normal villainous cadence, “I hope you are ready to be enthralled by my—mngh—<em>mesmerizing</em> masterpieces! Of which we spoke? Last time?” he added anxiously.</p>
<p>“I am,” she confirmed, hopefully easing his concern. And then, for good measure, “I’ve been ready for a week—what took you so long?”</p>
<p>“So impatient,” he muttered, but she could hear the relief in his tone.</p>
<p>She smirked. Nothing like a little teasing to put him at ease. “Well? Are you going to take this bag off my head at some point?”</p>
<p>“Possibly. But first, I have a few rules.” He paused, as if waiting.</p>
<p>“… Okay?” she tried.</p>
<p>“Rule 1: no trying to escape,” he continued. “Take one step toward the door, and this little interlude is done—no more Evil Lair field trips. Kapeesh?”</p>
<p>“Fair enough,” she agreed, silently noting his use of the plural word ‘trips.’</p>
<p>“Rule 2: no touching. I know everything is <em>shiny</em>, and <em>moving</em>, but just—don’t.”</p>
<p>She couldn’t help but grin. She could almost hear him gesturing as he emphasized the words. “Does that mean you’ll be untying my hands?” she tossed back.</p>
<p>“I will—<em>m</em><em>aybe</em> be doing that. Maybe.”</p>
<p>“Got it. No touching.”</p>
<p>“And Rule 3: no telling. The last thing I need is this hobby going out on the evening news and undermining my reputation.”</p>
<p>“I would never,” she protested, a little offended. “This is just between us.”</p>
<p>“Just between us,” he repeated softly. “Okay. I am <em>choosing</em> to believe you.” She heard another swish of fabric as he moved behind her. His hand settled on her wrist for a moment before pulling away sharply. “And I’ll have you know that if this <em>is</em> some sort of trick, or—or scheme, or what-have-you—though I can <em>appreciate</em> your use of cunning manipulation, and your choice to dabble in the realm of malicious intent, I will have <em>no choice</em> but to revoke any prior offers of collaborative evil I may hitherto have submitted to you!” he rattled off. “Just so you know.”</p>
<p>“Wha—a trick? A <em>scheme</em>?” she snapped, really annoyed now. “Why would you even—” She cut herself off, pausing for a moment as Wayne’s admission flashed in her head. And god only knew what else had happened to instill this kind of suspicion in him. He was a supervillain, after all—he regularly dealt with unscrupulous characters.</p>
<p>Okay. She needed to calm down. Take this slow. He was obviously outside of his comfort zone here.</p>
<p>“I only want to get to know you,” she said, keeping her voice even. “And these sculptures of yours sound really neat. I want to see them. I promise—this isn’t a trick. I won’t try to escape, or… or anything else, so… untie me?” She wiggled her bound wrists at him.</p>
<p>He didn’t respond and she wondered if he might be reconsidering the whole thing, but a moment later his hand returned to her wrist. She felt movement, and suddenly the rope fell away. Quick release knot? Nice. She immediately reached for the bag and pulled it from her head.</p>
<p>She couldn’t help but gasp at the stunning sight before her. They were on the rooftop of the Evil Lair, but the lush, green, meticulously cultivated landscape dappled with small trees and bushes and flowers rivalled any park. On top of that, that garden was interspersed with an assortment of ornately designed abstract metal creations that gleamed in the sun as they moved, creating a dazzling display of reflected light.</p>
<p>Despite the fact that several of the sculptures were quite large—a few of them peeked over the tops of the trees—they were surprisingly delicate looking. And the truly were mesmerizing. Many of them featured metal hands mounted on spindles that caught the wind, making them rotate or whirl or undulate in a sort of dance. The intricate interplay between the various layers, and the counterpoint of motions was oddly satisfying—like watching the waves churn on the lake.</p>
<p>“Wow,” she whispered under her breath.</p>
<p>She was seated under a vine-covered pergola in a small patio area, and a curving walkway branched off in front of her, beckoning her forward. She looked over and found Megamind watching her quietly, his brows high on his forehead, his eyes enormous, and round, and blinking far too frequently.</p>
<p>“This is incredible,” she said, standing and taking a step toward him. “All of this.”</p>
<p>“The—uh—the garden aspect is all thanks to Minion. He wanted a place to grow herbs and vegetables,” he said, waving at a trio of large boxed planters against the wall by the door, overflowing with an impressive assortment of plants, “and things sort of spiraled from there.”</p>
<p>She grinned. She could definitely believe that—Minion’s occasional mid-plot snacks were divine, and he’d mentioned on more than one occasion that he liked to cook. She could easily picture him getting the idea for a ‘dream garden’ in his head and all but forcing Megamind to make it a reality. Despite his easy-going personality, Minion could be as obstinate and headstrong as Megamind when he really wanted something.</p>
<p>“Does Minion take care of all of this?” she asked.</p>
<p>“Erm—yes. Mostly. I automated a bit of the irrigation and whatnot, but he oversees everything. He gets very touchy about how to care for things up here.”</p>
<p>“Hm. I’ll definitely have to get his insight if I ever try to garden on my balcony again,” Roxanne murmured absently.</p>
<p>“I’m sure he’d <em>love</em> to share his opinions on tomatoes if you’re willing to sit through a lecture,” he muttered dryly.</p>
<p>Roxanne grinned, and glanced around again, taking in the dense vegetation and the striking metal figures. “Jeez. I’m amazed the roof can support all of this weight.”</p>
<p>“I reinforced the structure a bit,” he admitted, “and we used the lightest materials we could to reduce the stress.”</p>
<p>“And the sculptures? What kind of material?”</p>
<p>“Stainless steel. I did have to add a <em>teensy </em>bit of extra support when Minion finally convinced me to add some pieces up here.”</p>
<p>At her questioning glance, he sighed.</p>
<p>“The first ones I made are in the Lair. They’re too delicate withstand the weather. They’re mechanically driven—gears and belts and such—mostly operating on the expenditure of momentum. The ones up here are a bit stronger. Wind powered, obviously,” he added. “We get a strong breeze off the lake, so I thought I might as well make use of it.”</p>
<p>“Off the… lake?” She glanced around in confusion. She had <em>suspected</em> the Lair was located on the coast, possibly in the Industrial District, but judging by the distant skyline and the densely clustered buildings around them, they were somewhere in the middle of Uptown—nowhere near the water. “This doesn’t look like lakefront.”</p>
<p>He chuckled softly, and then it suddenly turned into an exaggerated, sinister laugh. “Mwahahaha! Did you <em>really</em> think I would bring out here without concealing our true location?” he exclaimed, eyes wide. He tutted and began pacing back and forth, preening all the while. “How <em>very naïve</em> of you, Miss Ritchi. I thought you knew me better than that.”</p>
<p>She let out a surprised laugh at his sudden shift back into ‘villain.’ “So, what is this?” she asked, staring out at the false skyline. Now that she knew was looking for it, she could see the faint sheen at certain angles, “A holographic backdrop?”</p>
<p>“Possibly.”</p>
<p>“Of course,” she said, shaking her head with a smirk. “You’re right—I should have known.”</p>
<p>She glanced back at Megamind, who was looking ridiculously smug.</p>
<p>“And is that how you keep this place hidden from any passersby? Because I’m sure <em>someone</em> would have noticed a garden sitting on top of an abandoned… what was this place? A factory?”</p>
<p>His expression shifted into something between charmed and vexed. “Always with the questions,” he muttered. “It was a foundry.”</p>
<p>“Ah. Foundry.” She made a mental note to look up the location of all historical foundries in the city when she got home that night. “So, are you going to show me around?” she prodded, her eyes already drifting to one of the tallest structures she could just barely see glinting at the back. “Because I’d <em>love</em> to roam unsupervised.”</p>
<p>“And risk you meddling with things?” he retorted, one brow arched. “Not a chance.”</p>
<p>“Cynic.”</p>
<p>“I untied you, didn’t I?” His brilliant green eyes sparkled as he flashed a roguish grin—that inexplicably made her stomach flip—and took a step into the garden. “Come along, Miss Ritchi. Time waits for no villain, or some such nonsense,” he added with a careless flutter of his hand.</p>
<p>The corner of her mouth twitched in amusement. “Lead the way.”</p>
<p>x.x.x.x.x</p>
<p>They wandered slowly down the meandering pathway, and Roxanne marveled at every piece they passed. Each one seemed to have its own unique character, and she asked endless questions about the design and the mechanics behind them—and he seemed happy to answer, for once.</p>
<p>She paused when they had reached the far end of the roof, taking in the surprisingly detailed etching on a small burbling metal fountain before casting her gaze over the rest of the garden. “This really is amazing,” she murmured, and then shook her head in astounded disbelief. “It’s just—so surreal. Like being in a dream,” she laughed. “God—I could spend hours just—<em>s</em><em>taring</em> at all of this!” She turned back to find him once again watching her quietly. “Thank you,” she murmured, a strange, insistent warmth blooming in her chest, “for bringing me here.”</p>
<p>His lips curved into a soft, pleased smile and he dropped his gaze, and—oh my god, the dusting of fuchsia had crept all the way to the tips of his ears! It was—<em>easily</em>—the most adorable thing she had ever seen.</p>
<p>He straightened up and cleared his throat, glancing down at his watch. “It’s getting late. You can only delay your fate for so long, Miss Ritchi,” he said. “We should head in.”</p>
<p>She sighed, reluctant to return to their normal roles. “Already?”</p>
<p>He looked at her in surprise, his eyes wide. “I mean—we don’t have to, if—if things are still unpleasant between you and—” his lip curled in obvious disgust, “—and <em>Metro Mahn</em>, then—”</p>
<p>She groaned, dragging a hand down her face, cutting him off. “So. I’ll take it you read that article?”</p>
<p>He opened his mouth as if to speak, and then closed it, nodding guiltily.</p>
<p>“Stupid tabloids,” she muttered through a scowl.</p>
<p>“Sorry,” he said, making a face. “I’m sure it must be—tiring—having strangers scrutinizing your personal life.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, pretty much. But that’s the price of fame, right?” She sighed. “To be honest, I’m mostly used to it. And you don’t need to apologize. It’s not like you wrote the damn article.” She cast a sidelong glance at him. “Besides—you’re in the same boat, aren’t you? I mean, people scrutinize your life as much as mine.”</p>
<p>“Ah, but that’s where you’re wrong,” he said with a wry smile. “The public is mostly concerned with whether I’m incarcerated or not. They only care when I threaten to disrupt their boring little lives. If I stayed tucked away in prison, I doubt they’d give me much thought at all.”</p>
<p>She frowned.</p>
<p>That… couldn’t be true… could it?</p>
<p>But the more she thought about it, the harder it was to deny. The various articles and books she’d read about him mostly focused on the damage he caused and what a hazard he was—and generally ended with a section praising Metro Man for being the only person who could stand up to him.</p>
<p>Was that really the <em>only</em> way people thought him? As a menace? A perpetual threat? If that role were removed—if he <em>did</em> stay in prison and stopped plotting to take over the city every other week—<em>would</em> the public forget about him?</p>
<p>And was that why he kept at it so doggedly? For attention? Acknowledgement?</p>
<p>Obviously, it was a factor—Megamind clearly enjoyed being in the limelight. He wasn’t the type hide away. But she’d always assumed that his infamous reputation was a byproduct of the mayhem he caused during his fights with Wayne. She never imagined that <em>feeding</em> his reputation might be the<em> point</em> of those fights.</p>
<p>She looked over in stunned disbelief and realized he had started talking again and was pacing nervously.</p>
<p>“—but it <em>is</em> getting late, and we shouldn’t delay any longer than we already have. I mean, unless—that is to say—” He stopped and met her eyes, his expression all sincerity. “I won’t pressure you to participate this time. I’m sure I could find a way to get you home without drawing his attention if you two <em>are</em> still fighting. Or something.”</p>
<p>She blinked. “Huh? Oh! No, it’s—” She waved a hand dismissively. “No. The magazine got it wrong. It was just a spat. You don’t need to worry—Wayne and I are fine.”</p>
<p>“Oh. Uh… good,” he murmured. His gaze drifted aimlessly for a moment, and then he shook himself, pushed his shoulders back, lifted his chin, and pressed his lips together in a thin, textbook ‘evil’ smile. “Good. Because it would be <em>terribly inconvenient</em> to have my plot to be delayed—<em>again</em>,” he said theatrically before turning on heel, his cape billowing out behind him, and heading up the path into the garden. “Come along, Miss Ritchi.”</p>
<p>She sighed, and followed, and shoved down the knotted mess of questions today had left her with.</p>
<p>x.x.x.x.x</p>
<p>When they reached the patio, Megamind hesitated, his forced bluster entirely spent.</p>
<p>… They were doing the plot.</p>
<p>They were.</p>
<p>He had asked. And Roxanne was okay with it.</p>
<p>… Not that he <em>needed</em> her to be okay with it. But. She was. Because she and Metro Man were fine. And that was… fine.</p>
<p>So. <em>Logically</em>, the next step was—</p>
<p>He grimaced and made his way to where he’d stashed a canister of knockout spray.</p>
<p>“Again?” she protested, when she realized what he was doing.</p>
<p>He froze. The thought of knocking her unconscious and tying her up did seem… strange. Now. After spending some ‘non-villain’ time with her. “Very well,” he muttered, putting the canister back. “I suppose the rope can wait too,” he added, gathering it quickly and affixing the coil to his belt. “Just the bag?”</p>
<p>“How about—I close my eyes and promise not to peek?” she said brightly.</p>
<p>He nodded. “Just the bag.”</p>
<p>“Oh, come on! Haven’t I earned a <em>little</em> credit here? I promise—I won’t open them until you say it’s okay.”</p>
<p>He chewed his lip in silent deliberation. She had been <em>shockingly</em> well-behaved, so far. And there wasn’t really much for her to see, anyway. Most of the trip down to the hangar took place in a stairwell. “Ugh. Fine,” he finally conceded, tucking the bag in his belt. He extended a crooked elbow toward her. “Here. I’ll lead you. Eyes closed.”</p>
<p>She flashed a smile, her hand curving around his arm, and shut her eyes. “I’ll take it this means your ‘evil weapon of the week’ isn’t up here?”</p>
<p>“<em>Multiple</em> weapons. And you are correct. They’re down in the Lair.”</p>
<p>She hummed in interest. “And the brainbots?”</p>
<p>“On patrol. But don’t worry—the camerabots are ready and waiting.”</p>
<p>She nodded, and then wrinkled her nose in confusion. “Hang on a second—how were you planning on getting me down <em>anywhere</em> if I was unconscious?”</p>
<p>Wasn’t it obvious? “I would have carried you…?”</p>
<p>“Without Minion or the brainbots?” she said in surprise.</p>
<p>Okay, <em>now</em> he was offended. “I’ll have you know I am <em>perfectly</em> capable of carrying you on my own.”</p>
<p>She raised her free hand defensively. “I mean—don’t get me wrong. I’ve seen you and Wayne fight enough times to know you can hold your own. But I also know that I’m not exactly the most <em>delicate</em> flower.”</p>
<p>He frowned. Was she implying…? “Miss Ritchi,” he murmured, his voice low, “I’m afraid you leave me with no choice.” Okay. This was probably a bad idea, but if she thought she was too ‘heavy’ for him, he was sure as hell going to prove her wrong. “Eyes stay closed,” he reminded. “And… try not to wiggle. I don’t want to lose my grip.”</p>
<p>Her brows shot up. “Wait—you’re really going to—”</p>
<p>“As I said, you leave me no choice.”</p>
<p>She let out a shocked, breathless laugh. “Well then. Uh—let me just—” She let go of his elbow, eyes still shut, and—with a bit of awkward grabbing and fumbling—put both arms around his shoulders, careful to avoid the spikes. “Okay?”</p>
<p>“Okay,” he answered, putting one arm behind her back and the other under her knees. He swept her up and she let out a surprised yelp, her arms tightening around him like a vice. He chuckled. “Was that a scream, Miss Ritchi?”</p>
<p>“Hardly,” she muttered, her cheeks flaring pink.</p>
<p>“Hm. Whatever you say,” he said through a smirk, carrying her into the Lair and taking a careful first step down the stairs. After a few more steps, she began to relax. It <em>was</em> a little trickier having a moving captive in his arms, but the way she pressed into him was the furthest thing from unpleasant. Despite her concerns, her weight really was trivial. And they’d reach the hangar soon enough.</p>
<p>Yes, this was fine. He could do this.</p>
<p>And then she leaned her head in, her hair tickling his cheek, and his heart nearly exploded.</p>
<p>“This is actually pretty comfortable,” she murmured, her breath puffing hot on the side of his neck.</p>
<p>Oh, evil gods. This was a <em>terrible</em> idea.</p>
<p>“Ahaha,” he laughed, on the border of panic. “I always knew you’d enjoy being in the arms of evil, Miss Ritchi,” he babbled, and then kicked himself for saying something so stupid.</p>
<p>She snorted. “Arms of evil, huh?”</p>
<p>Oh damn. She wasn’t going to let this one go.</p>
<p>“What can I say—your villainous charisma finally carried me away,” she teased.</p>
<p>“Ha ha. Very funny,” he said dryly, shifting his arms so he wouldn’t lose his grip.</p>
<p>“I guess you really swept me off my feet.”</p>
<p>“Now look,” he scolded, “I’m going to drop you if you don’t cut that out.”</p>
<p>“Ah, meaningless threats. Now we’re back in familiar territory.”</p>
<p>Ohohoho! There was no way he was letting <em>that </em>challenge go unanswered! He let her slip an inch before tightening his arms again. She released another choked yelp, her eyes flying open, and clung to him for dear life.</p>
<p>“You—” she sputtered at his smirking face, “—arg! Scoundrel!” She poked his shoulder, grinning in spite of herself.</p>
<p>“It’s a gift,” he purred. “Now, eyes shut!”</p>
<p>She glowered but obeyed and, to his great relief, they made it to the hangar without further disruption. He made his way through the corridor of curtains and stopped beside the hovercar.</p>
<p>“Alright—we’ve arrived.”</p>
<p>“I can open my eyes?”</p>
<p>He faked an exasperated sigh. “<em>Yes</em>, Miss Ritchi,” he grumbled, though he was unable to contain a grin. Her lashes fluttered open and her gaze met his. She gave a soft, crooked smile, and he was suddenly aware of just how close her face was to his. “I’ll just… set you down,” he murmured, blinking.</p>
<p>Her smile shifted into a smirk. “Whenever you’re ready.”</p>
<p>He felt his cheeks heat. “Yes. Right.” He lowered her and then stared awkwardly at the coil of rope at his belt. “Uh…”</p>
<p>She followed his gaze and then looked up at him, one brow raised. Before he could react, she reached down and unhooked the rope herself, offering it to him with a mock-innocent expression.</p>
<p>“Right,” he murmured again, trying to ignore the hollow feeling in his chest. He’d grown to enjoy his role as a supervillain over the years, but every once in a while, he wished he could have been cast as something else.</p>
<p>Well. Nothing to be done about it now. The show must go on.</p>
<p>He straightened up and gave Roxanne the wickedest smirk he could manage as he lifted the rope from her hand.</p>
<p>x.x.x.x.x</p>
<p>The fight was over. The parking structure Megamind had taken refuge on was only two stories tall, but it still gave him a relatively unimpeded view of the sky. He released a long, slow sigh as he watched Metro Man soaring away with a recently rescued Roxanne in his arms.</p>
<p>The Battle Beetles had been a success, in the sense that they provided ample distraction and cover so Megamind could draw the fight away from the Lair. As the ‘evil weapons of the week,’ they’d failed miserably. Their pincer attacks were useless, and even when they went kamikaze, acting like a buzzing swarm of grenades, the most they’d managed to do was get soot on the hero’s perfect white suit.</p>
<p>Megamind gritted his teeth. At least he’d managed to escape—thanks to Roxanne, actually.</p>
<p>After fighting off the first, second, and third waves of Battle Beetles, Metro Man had come rocketing toward the Beetlemobile, and just as Megamind was about to draw the De-Gun, Roxanne had turned to him, her blue eyes wide, whispered ‘Go!’ and thrown herself out of the hovercar.</p>
<p>Metro Man immediately dove to catch her, of course.</p>
<p>And, once his heart started beating again, Megamind had used the opening to slip away.</p>
<p>He sighed again as he watched Roxanne and her hero disappear into the distance, marking the end of yet another unsuccessful plot. The police were still searching for him. He’d have to lay low for a little while, but with the hovercar’s cloaking feature it should be embarrassingly easy to avoid Metro City’s finest. Once things quieted down, he could make his way back to the Lair. Nothing to do until then but wait…</p>
<p>“<em>Sir? What’s going on? Is everything okay?</em>”</p>
<p>Megamind flinched at the blaring of the watch and twisted the transmitter. “Everything’s fine, Minion.”</p>
<p>“<em>Is Miss Ritchi okay? The bots said she fell from the hovercar</em>.”</p>
<p>“Jumped is more like it,” Megamind muttered. “She’s fine. Her hero rescued her, as usual.”</p>
<p>“<em>Jumped</em>?”</p>
<p>Megamind hesitated. “Trying to escape, no doubt.” He wasn’t sure why, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to share what had happened.</p>
<p>“<em>That’s… surprising. Why would she put herself in danger like that?</em>”</p>
<p>“You mean when she could have stayed safely in my villainous clutches?”</p>
<p>“<em>Exactly. She knows you won’t let anything happen to her,” he said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.</em></p>
<p>Megamind blinked and then frowned. “You’re letting your imagination run away with you,” he said dismissively.</p>
<p>“<em>I don’t know. I mean—I know we’re the villains and everything, but I’m pretty sure she trusts us</em>.”</p>
<p>“Gah—what does it even matter! If she trusts us, then she’s clearly missed some rather glaring social cues about the kind of people we are. Now! Moving on! Minion, I need you to round up the bots and meet me at the Lair in an hour. Got it?”</p>
<p>There was a weary sigh on the other end of the line. “<em>Whatever you say, Sir.</em>”</p>
<p>The watch clicked off and Megamind tapped a finger absently. So what, if Roxanne trusted him. She had still flown off into the sunset with Metro Idiot. It didn’t change anything. That bad guy didn’t get the girl.</p>
<p>… Still…</p>
<p>Today had been… nice.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yup. This is still going. Hopefully the next chapter won't take another million years to write. Thank you for reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Code: we have a <em>problem</em>!”</p><p>Roxanne’s eyes cracked open at the hushed hiss. In the dim morning light, she could just make out Megamind, standing in the hallway with his back to her, silhouetted against her open bedroom door as he whispered into his watch. New plot, so soon? It hadn’t even been a week since the ‘Evil Lair field trip.’ Apparently, he’d taken her jab about having to wait very seriously.</p><p>Her lips curved into a smirk as she silently climbed out of bed, crept across the room.</p><p>“<em>I know you were very insistent about retrieving her yourself, but if you need help I could—</em>”</p><p>“That’s <em>not</em> the problem!”</p><p>“<em>The bots assured me she’s there, Sir.</em>”</p><p>“No—she’s—” Megamind gestured emphatically at nothing. “—she’s <em>here</em>, but she’s still <em>sleeping</em>,” he whisper-yelled into the watch. “You said she goes running Saturday mornings!”</p><p>“<em>She does</em>!”</p><p>“Apparently not <em>this</em> Saturday! She was supposed to be <em>back</em>, and <em>awake</em>, and <em>properly dressed </em>in<em> actual clothes </em>by now!”</p><p>“I slept in,” Roxanne whispered in his ear.</p><p>Megamind jumped, letting out a startled ‘eep,’ and spun about, grabbing her, twisting her arm behind her back and pinning her face-first against the wall before she could even think. She let out a pained yelp and he instantly released her, stumbling backwards a couple steps.</p><p>“<em>Sir? Sir—what’s going on?</em>”</p><p>“Code: I’ll have to get back to you Minion,” he stammered before clicking off the watch. “Miss Ritchi, I’m—I am so sorry!” he exclaimed, his hands raised placatingly. He looked absolutely horrified. “Oh god—are you alright?”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m fine,” she said, rubbing her wrist tenderly. “Jesus, you’re fast.”</p><p>He flinched. “Sorry, I—it’s—reflexive—I thought you were—I didn’t—I didn’t realize—” He groaned miserably and fell back against the wall, sliding down to the floor, crossing his arms over his knees and burying his face. “I—am <em>so</em> sorry,” he said again, his voice muffled. “Fuck.”</p><p>Roxanne’s brows lifted in surprise. Swearing? “Are <em>you</em> alright?”</p><p>He nodded into his arms and murmured something that sounded like another apology.</p><p>“Hey,” she bent down and put a hand on his shoulder. “Megamind. I’m fine—really. I was more surprised than anything.”</p><p>He lifted his head to look and her and then gulped, eyes going wide, and snapped his gaze back to the floor.</p><p>She glanced down. Shorts and a tank top. No bra. She sighed. “Give me a minute,” she said, going into her bedroom and shutting the door behind her. “I don’t suppose you’ll tell me if the plot is inside or outside today?” she called out as she sifted through her closet, pausing to compare two long-sleeve dresses. The weather had cooled significantly and if she was going to be perched outside on a platform or in a cage or something, she sure as hell wanted a coat.</p><p>“… it will be cold,” his voice said softly through the closed door.</p><p>“Leggings it is,” she murmured, wriggling into a pair before zipping up the back of a nicely fitted plum-colored dress, and finishing the outfit off with a pair of simple pearl studs. Now, for a touch of eyeliner, some mascara, a little dry shampoo and some finger combing and… there. Done.</p><p>She opened the door found Megamind, still hunched wretchedly on the floor.</p><p>“If it makes you feel better, you could make it up to me by letting me have some breakfast before we go,” she said, raising a brow.</p><p>He looked up somberly. “… breakfast?”</p><p>“Scrambled eggs and toast? I can make some for you too, if you want.”</p><p>“… do you have jam?”</p><p>“And bacon, if you wanna go all out.”</p><p>He nodded shakily. “… bacon.”</p><p>She grinned, extending a hand and pulling him to his feet, and then made her way to the kitchen, trusting him to follow. After starting a pot of coffee, she laid out several strips of bacon on a griddle and set to work whisking some eggs. Megamind edged over, taking a seat at the kitchen island, and proceeded to stare sullenly at nothing.</p><p>“Huh. I didn’t realize that actually injuring me would upset you this much,” she baited.</p><p>Heavy brows sank even lower over shadowed green eyes.</p><p>“I’m teasing, Megamind. It barely hurt. Besides—it was kind of my fault for scaring you. Won’t be doing that again anytime soon,” she added to herself.</p><p>“… wasn’t scared.”</p><p>“No?” she said flatly.</p><p>“I was… surprised.”</p><p>“Ah. Right. Surprised. Like a little kitten. With ninja moves.”</p><p>He scowled at her. “‘Master of all villainy’ isn’t just a title. You should be more careful.”</p><p>She sighed and poured the eggs into the pan before turning to flip the bacon. “Please don’t—Wayne already gave me an earful after the last plot. I don’t need another round of the ‘you could have been hurt” speech.”</p><p>“He’s right though.”</p><p>Roxanne looked over in surprise. He was actually—openly—agreeing with Wayne? Good lord, he must be more out of sorts than she realized!</p><p>“You shouldn’t put yourself in danger like that,” he continued. “You could have been hurt. Or killed.”</p><p>She threw him a glare. “You risk your life all the time. Now you know how it feels.”</p><p>His eyes widened, then narrowed in confusion. “Why did you do it?”</p><p>“What? Help you?” He nodded and she shrugged. “We had a nice day.”</p><p>He shook his head. “Ridiculous woman,” he muttered under his breath.</p><p>“Soft-hearted supervillain.”</p><p>“I am <em>not</em>!” he protested, straightening up. “I am—cruel and—and ma-lee-volent and—and <em>evil</em>!” he added with a grand sweep of his arm.</p><p>She smirked—there he was. “Coffee?”</p><p>He sighed. “Do you have cream and sugar?”</p><p>“There’s milk in the fridge,” she offered, setting the sugar in front of him and pouring a cup. He added a good splash of milk, and she watched bemusedly as he spooned an obscene amount of sugar into the cup. “You have heard of oversaturation, right?” she said, popping bread into the toaster and turning back to the eggs.</p><p>“This is a <em>perfectly acceptable</em> amount of sugar. And I like having an extra sweet kick at the end.”</p><p>She offered an unconvinced hum before separating the eggs and bacon onto two plates, buttering the toast, and carrying everything to the island. Megamind stared at the food warily for a moment, before daring to take a bite. Roxanne smiled and took a sip of coffee. “Doesn’t downing that much sugar make you crash later?”</p><p>He shook his head and swallowed. “Alien. My body digests and metabolizes food much more slowly than a human’s. I don’t get the spike you do. No high—no crash. It also means I need to store less backup energy. Hence, this <em>incredibly handsome</em> physique,” he said, gesturing up and down his slender torso before taking another large bite of eggs.</p><p>She snorted. “Lucky.”</p><p>“Oh yes. Being inhumanly skinny is an absolute joy,” he muttered before crunching on a piece of bacon.</p><p>Roxanne looked up in surprise—the sarcasm was impossible to miss. Her curiosity flared, but she prudently kept her mouth shut as he began inspecting the assortment of jams.</p><p>“This one,” he said, holding up an unlabeled jar, “What is this?”</p><p>“Orange marmalade? I like it. It’s sweet and citrusy. It includes bits of peel though, so there is a bitter tang to it.”</p><p>He scowled at the jar. “No,” he said, setting it firmly on the table and reaching for the strawberry preserves.</p><p>“You don’t like bitter stuff?”</p><p>“Blech.” He made a face, spreading a heaping of jam over the bread and taking a large bite.</p><p>“Noted,” she said, smiling and taking another sip of coffee.</p><p>He arched a brow and swallowed. “Still trying to learn my secrets?”</p><p>“Secrets like your taste in food? Yup.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>He frowned. “Why <em>now</em>?”</p><p>She hesitated. Good question. “No reason in particular. You’ve just—been on my mind a lot lately.”</p><p>“On your mind?” he repeated curiously, before smirking impishly. “I see. Fixating on the nefa-rious nuances of my devilish draw, no doubt? Very well, Miss Ritchi, since you’re so set on learning more about me—and since I nearly broke your arm this morning,” he added with a grimace, “—I will graciously concede to your wishes, just this once. Ask away,” he said with a flutter of his hand before turning his attention back to his toast.</p><p>Roxanne blinked. Was he serious? Okay—‘nearly broke her arm’ was a pretty excessive overstatement, but she wasn’t about to pass this up. Her brain immediately began sifting through the millions of things she had always wondered about. She cleared her throat. “You said ‘Master of all villainy’ isn’t just a title. What exactly are you the master of?” She had always wondered just what his role in the city was outside of his biweekly high jinks. Wayne had let it slip a couple of times that Megamind basically managed <em>all</em> of the crime in the city, but she could never get either of them to talk about it.</p><p>His eyes widened and he choked on his bite of toast, coughing and pounding his chest before letting out a short laugh. “Ask away—<em>within reason</em>. I’m not about to reveal the inner workings of my evil empire.”</p><p>Well, it was worth a shot.</p><p>“And,” he went on, “I think I should I get to interrogate you as well. One answer for another, yes?”</p><p>“Fair enough. So, what am I allowed to ask you?”</p><p>“I don’t know—things that don’t matter. I’ll go first: what is the best donut. And there is a correct answer,” he added pointedly.</p><p>She grinned. “Easy. Custard chocolate éclair.”</p><p>“What? No! The ones filled with strawberry jelly and covered in powdered sugar! Obviously!”</p><p>“Oooh, hang on—I may have to change my answer. Have you ever had the maple bacon donuts at Mojo’s Donuts downtown?”</p><p>His eyebrows shot up. “Bacon? On a donut? Why haven’t I heard of this? Minion has clearly been neglecting his duties as a henchfish.”</p><p>“Wow—tough gig.”</p><p>“I expect nothing but the best!” he said, twirling his fork between in his fingers. “And such villainy should have been reported to me immediately.”</p><p>“Wha—villainy? You mean it doesn’t sound good?”</p><p>He made a face. “It sounds positively <em>disgusting</em>. Also, I’m beginning to doubt the efficacy of your taste buds, Miss Ritchi.”</p><p>“Hey!” she laughed, “Don’t knock it ‘til you try it—Master of an Unrefined Palate.”</p><p>“Bacon on a donut is hardly ‘refined.’ And please—” he said, lifting a hand, “—Overlord is fine. Now, ask your next question.”</p><p>“Oh my god—so ridiculous,” she said, rolling her eyes, still smiling. “Fine.” She paused. “Damn. Now all I can think of is food. Okay—favorite color?”</p><p>He gave her a flat look. “Do you really need to ask?”</p><p>“I mean—it <em>might</em> not be black.”</p><p>That drew a small smile. “And yours?”</p><p>“Blue.”</p><p>Fuck. That just popped right out there, didn’t it.</p><p>He smirked slyly. “Blue? How very interesting. Any particular shade?” he purred.</p><p>“Wouldn’t you like to know,” she muttered. “Unfortunately, you’ll have to wait your turn.” She paused. “Okay, this one’s a little strange, but I’ve always wondered; is your—” she gestured at him “—whatever—your getup—is that what you usually wear? Like, on a typical day at the Lair?” She’d seen his leathers torn enough times to know about the spandex undersuit, but other than that, she’d only ever seen him in the prison uniform. It was hard to picture him in anything else.</p><p>He hesitated for a moment and then shook his head. “As you can imagine, the cape and mantle aren’t really suited for everyday wear. That, and Minion would kill me if I damaged any of his more elaborate pieces. I do have some ‘normal’ clothes, but I generally stick to the undersuit when I’m working.”</p><p>A sudden image coalesced of Megamind, spandex peeled down and tied around his trim waist, up to his elbows in a giant robot, a smudge of grease on his cheek, sweat beading on vivid blue skin—</p><p>She blinked and swallowed, heat curling in the pit of her stomach. “Huh.”</p><p>“Alright, Miss Ritchi—if we’re moving into more personal questions, I’ll ask one of my own: why do you hate being called a damsel so much?”</p><p>She smiled sheepishly. “You picked up on that?”</p><p>“How could I not? You turn into an absolute fury anytime I refer to you as such. And though winding you up is rather entertaining, you tend to dismantle my plans a little too enthusiastically when you’re in a foul mood.”</p><p>She huffed. “Well, to answer your question, I hate it because the label is incredibly patriarchal and demeaning. It’s irritating, being reduced to something so one-dimensional. I’m <em>not</em> just some vapid little girl, waiting around to be rescued.”</p><p>He chuckled. “No, you certainly aren’t.”</p><p>“What about you? Don’t you ever get tired of being labelled a villain?”</p><p>For a moment, he just stared. He opened his mouth to speak, but then shook his head and smiled thinly. “I think you’re forgetting something, Miss Ritchi—you were forced into your role. I <em>chose</em> mine. I mean, do you hate being labelled a reporter? That’s a more accurate comparison.”</p><p>She frowned. “No, I suppose not.”</p><p>“There—you see? It’s entirely different. I enjoy my work,” he said dismissively, though his broad smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Now—enough of this,” he said, waving a hand. “Your turn. Next question.”</p><p>“… Okay then. What was your favorite plot?”</p><p>His expression suddenly shifted into one of abject horror. “How could you <em>possibly</em> ask me to choose?” he gasped. “I love all of my plots equally.”</p><p>She snorted. “Oh, come on—you must have a short list. Reptiligun? The Bradbury Ray? The Caper Caper?”</p><p>A smile teased his lips. “Okay, fine. If I <em>must</em>, then… the last one was very diverting. The first part, at least,” he added. “The Battle Beetles were a bit of a disappointment.”</p><p>“Nope. Doesn’t count,” she returned, and he looked over in surprise. “The first part was my pre-plot Evil Lair field trip. What was your favorite <em>actual</em> plot”</p><p>“What? Agh! Fine! This feels like to trick to get me to answer twice, but fine!” he blustered dramatically, his eyes sparkling with amusement. He paused, tapping a finger against his lips in mock-serious deliberation and then his expression brightened. “I did quite enjoy Operation Kitetastrophe.”</p><p>“Oh my god—I <em>forgot</em> about that!” She let out a cackle. “Okay—yes. That one was pretty fantastic. And gorgeous, honestly. ‘Presentation’ at its best.”</p><p>A delighted smile crept over Megamind’s face and he quickly hid it behind a sip of coffee.</p><p>The throng of blue and black and silver death-kites had been quite a sight. And then, when Wayne tried to attack— “He looked so pitiful, tangled in all those strings.”</p><p>“If only the electric shock had worked the way I imagined,” Megamind said wistfully. “Still, it was the most pathetic he’s ever looked. My greatest triumph.”</p><p>“Poor Wayne,” she crooned sympathetically.</p><p>He rolled his eyes. “He was so insufferably pompous at the end of it—acting as if he hadn’t been doing the Wayne equivalent of swearing for twenty straight minutes on live television.” Roxanne chuckled and he regarded her curiously. “What on Earth do you see in that white-suited snob?”</p><p>“Is that your next question?”</p><p>“Will you answer it?”</p><p>She shrugged. “Wayne is nice.” He gave her a look of disgust and she laughed. “He <em>is</em>! He’s not perfect—nowhere near it—but he means well.”</p><p>His lip curled.</p><p>“Look, I know you have a history, but I really wish you two could work things out.”</p><p>“Never going to happen.”</p><p>“Will you tell me why?” she ventured.</p><p>“Isn’t it obvious? He’s a hero. I’m a villain,” he returned brusquely.</p><p>She sighed, pushing down the instinctive flare of temper that rose up when people answered her with half-truths. “If you say so,” she muttered, standing and clearing their plates.</p><p>When she turned back, he was brooding at his empty mug. Maybe she should just let it go. But… he had promised her answers. And things had been going pretty well up ‘til now. This might be her best chance to finally raise the subject that had been gnawing at her for the last handful of weeks.</p><p>“Megamind,” she began slowly, making her way over to him, “have you ever considered giving it up? The villainy? The game?”</p><p>Suspicious green eyes snapped to her. “You want me to let your precious hero win?”</p><p>“No. No—this isn’t about Wayne,” she said, putting as much sincerity in her voice as she could manage. “Do you ever want to stop—just for you?”</p><p>His brows sank low. “This is what I am, Miss Ritchi. <em>Stopping</em> isn’t an option.”</p><p>“But—if it was, would you—”</p><p>“It’s not,” he said, scowling darkly and pulling the can of knockout spray from where it was clipped to his belt. “I think we’ve delayed long enough.”</p><p>She took a step back as he rose to his feet. “Megamind—”</p><p>“Time to go.”</p><p>“—please—just, wait a second—”</p><p>But her words were lost in the cloud of spray.</p><p>x.x.x.x.x</p><p>Megamind frowned down at the unconscious woman in his arms. Talking about quitting—as if that were even <em>remotely</em> an option—as if he weren’t inextricably bound to this fate from the moment he entered Earth’s atmosphere. He was destined for this. He couldn’t turn his back on destiny.</p><p>He should know—he’d tried.</p><p>And why would he <em>want</em> to quit? His life was… great.</p><p>It was fine. He liked robots. And lasers. And chaos.</p><p>Besides, there were things he could do as a villain that no one else could. So. <em>Clearly</em>, this was where he was meant to be.</p><p>Okay, sure, <em>sometimes</em> he wondered how things might have turned out if things had been… different. If <em>he</em> were different. But he wasn’t.</p><p>He wasn’t. And they weren’t. And it was a useless to fight against reality.</p><p>Accept it.</p><p>Move on.</p><p>Didn’t she understand? He was <em>evil</em>. Case and point—he was in the middle of <em>kidnapping </em>her!</p><p>Argh—and they were already late. Time to go, indeed! He turned on heel and headed toward the awaiting hover bike on the balcony. And then he paused, looking down at her again, eyebrows lifting in contemplation.</p><p>Their destination <em>was</em> pretty cold…</p><p>He should probably get her a coat. And shoes.</p><p>x.x.x.x.x</p><p>“Wakey wakey, Miss Ritchi. It’s time for you to meet your doo-oom,” Megamind sang out gleefully as Roxanne’s eyes cracked open. Ah—he loved this part; watching how she reacted to her first glimpse of the day’s venue.</p><p>She looked around and groaned. “Oh, good lord.” They were inside the Central Square Clock Tower, her chair placed at the base of the ticking assembly of gears. Megamind had added the standard arrangement off blinky machinery wherever he could. All in all, he thought it set a rather effective scene.</p><p>He smiled from where he stood in front of one of the reverse clock faces—they made such a lovely backdrop.</p><p>“You—you knockout sprayed me!” she cried in outrage, her beautiful blue eyes blazing.</p><p>He pouted melodramatically. “Oh no, are you disappointed? Did you forget that I was there to kidnap you?” he asked sarcastically. “Or maybe you thought a little breakfast would buy your freedom?”</p><p>She scowled. “Don’t be a jerk. We were in the middle of a conversation!”</p><p>“Hardly!” he retorted. “I think I made it very clear that there was nothing left to say. Now,” he said, spinning about and heading toward the main control panel, “<em>if</em> you don’t mind, I’d like to get on with it. This plot is a bit <em>time</em> sensitive.”</p><p>She let out an annoyed growl. “Fine.”</p><p>“Splendid.” He flourished his hand and a pair of camerabots hovered over.</p><p>“Didn’t really answer my question, but that’s fine,” he heard her muttering under her breath.</p><p>“I <em>did</em> answer your question!” he countered, turning to face her.</p><p>“No. You didn’t!”</p><p>“Yes. I did!”</p><p>“Didn’t!”</p><p>“Did! Your purely <em>hypothetical</em> question, I might add,” he said, stalking toward her. “Why do you even care?”</p><p>“I <em>worry</em>, okay?” she snapped, scowling at him furiously.</p><p>He glared back, at a loss for words. His heart wasn’t sure whether it should be fluttering about in his chest—she <em>worried</em>?—about <em>him</em>?—no no, she couldn’t <em>possibly</em> mean it like that—or pounding in irritation that she was being so damn persistent!</p><p>He—</p><p>He didn’t want to answer her! He shouldn’t <em>have</em> to! They weren’t <em>that</em> close… were they? Sure, they had nearly a decade of kidnappings between them, but—but they weren’t <em>friends</em>. Right?</p><p>It was—</p><p>It was too much information to give out!</p><p>Argh.</p><p>Maybe he should just put the whole thing to rest. He could tell her, ‘No—I’ve never thought about quitting! I love being a supervillain! I love it when the crowd boos at me! I love the isolation—the public hatred! I love getting regularly beaten to a pulp and humiliated in front of the woman I’ve secretly been in love with—for <em>years</em>—and who I don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell with! I love my career! I love my life!’</p><p>But. He didn’t really feel like lying to her either.</p><p>Shit…</p><p>He bit the inside of his cheek and struggled to subdue the twisting anxiety knotting his stomach. Roxanne was seething quietly—he hated it when she got quiet like this—and the repetitive clack of the clock’s long-toothed gear knocking against its escapement sounded a like death march in the thick, heavy silence.</p><p>“Uh… are we… going to start soon?” Minion asked, peering down from spiral staircase that led to the open belfry above.</p><p>“Minion!” Roxanne said, her face lighting up—anger apparently forgotten.</p><p>Megamind’s brows flattened. “You’re so excited.” He glanced up at his henchfish. “Why is she so excited?”</p><p>Minion shrugged.</p><p>“I haven’t seen him in ages. How have you been?” she asked, craning her neck so she could see the gorilla-suited fish.</p><p>“Oh, you know,” he said with a cheery smile. “Pretty good—ur—bad. Evil?” he said with a questioning glance at the perplexed Megamind.</p><p>“Glad to hear it,” Roxanne said brightly.</p><p>“Wha—what on Earth <em>is</em> this?” Megamind sputtered in annoyed confusion.</p><p>“Like I said, I haven’t seen him in ages,” she repeated coolly, as if being excited to see your supervillain’s right-hand man were a perfectly normal thing to do. “Is there a problem?” she added.</p><p>Megamind gawked dumbly at her, his jaw hanging open, but before he could come up with a proper <em>scathing</em> retort, Minion jumped in. “Oh—by the way, if you’re hungry, I brought snacks!” he said, producing a small silver container from behind his back.</p><p>“Oh Minion—you’re so sweet,” she said dotingly. “I already ate, but I’d never pass on a chance to enjoy something you made.”</p><p>He beamed. “It’s mini beignets today. I had Sir put together a portable chafing dish too, so they should still be warm,” he said, cracking open the container and releasing a small puff of steam into the chilly air.</p><p>Megamind frowned. So <em>that’s</em> what that was for—the tricky little fish. They were going to have to have yet another conversation about not pampering the hostage.</p><p>Roxanne smiled as a brainbot with two sharp fins daintily carried one of the powdered-sugar-covered treats over and offered it to her. “Thank you. That looks delicious.” She bit down on it and let out an indulgent groan, and Megamind, who had begun pacing furiously, nearly lost his footing.</p><p>“Okay—that’s enough!” he snapped, glaring at both of them. “In case you’d forgotten, we’re in the middle of a plot? Happy catch-up time will have to wait!”</p><p>“Sheesh. Fine,” Roxanne said, looking unimpressed.</p><p>“Sorry, Sir.”</p><p>“Good! Thank you!” Megamind said, running through a string of mental expletives as stalked back to the main control panel, and signaled to the bots to start filming. Once they gave him the green light, he let out a <em>fantastically evil</em> laugh and slowly spun the chair around to face the cameras. “Good morning, <em>Metro Mahn</em>,” he drawled, his hands steepled in front of him. “Or should I say—<em>bad</em> morning!”</p><p>“Megamind!” Metro Man’s face came up on the display, and Megamind let out an internal sigh of relief—the dunce looked like he actually had some energy for once. Metro Man struck a pose, his finger pointed accusingly at the camera. “What dastardly evil do you have planned for today!”</p><p>“Ooooo! <em>Dastardly</em>!” he said, frilling his fingers and grinning widely. “Did you learn a new word?”</p><p>Ice blue eyes narrowed. “Supercilious villain!”</p><p>Megamind’s eyebrows shot up and Wayne gave him a cocky grin. Megamind scoffed. “Be nice,” he sang, “or you’ll never see your bewitching beloved again!”</p><p>The cameras panned to a very bored-looking Roxanne, and, with the press of a button, an <em>exceptionally</em> large lightning-bolt-emblazoned laser to lowered from the ceiling, aimed at her. “Oh, for god’s sake,” she muttered.</p><p>“Roxanne!” Metro Man hissed, in a parody of concern.</p><p>“Correct! And if you care about her life, you will <em>leave</em> Metrocity and <em>never return</em>!”</p><p>“Wait a second—that’s—that’s the clock tower!” Metro Man’s said, his eyes wide. “What is this Megamind? You don’t usually give away your location so easily.”</p><p>Megamind smirked. “Yes, well, I thought a time limit might provide you with some much-needed motivation,” he said with a significant glance at the clock face behind him. “If you don’t leave town before the minute hand reaches the hour, I’m afraid poor, precious Miss Ritchi’s time will be up!” he said, clenching his hand into a fist.</p><p>“You fiend! You can threaten ‘til you’re blue in the face, but I’ll never abandon my city or Roxanne!”</p><p>“Oh ha ha ha. You’re hilarious,” Megamind said flatly.</p><p>“Don’t worry, Roxie—it’ll be okay!”</p><p>“Not worried.”</p><p>“Better get going if you want to beat the clock,” Megamind taunted.</p><p>“And <em>you’d</em> better get ready—pretty soon, <em>your</em> time will be up!” He blasted out of frame and the camera bots quickly panned to where he was rapidly shrinking into the distance.</p><p>Megamind’s lips curved into a sharp, sinister smile. “We shall see.”</p><p>The feed cut and his smile fell. Roxanne was scowling at the floor. Still angry. His heart sank. No games between them today.</p><p>“I think I’m going to… go keep watch. Or something,” Minion said, glancing uncomfortably between the villain and the reporter. “Yeah… just gonna… head over… this way…” he mumbled as he disappeared up the stairs.</p><p>Megamind looked dejectedly at his fuming captive, a perturbed furrow between his brows. Well. Nothing to do now but wait it out. He slumped down in his chair and let an all too familiar wave discontent wash over him.</p><p>At least Metro Man shouldn’t take too long this time—this misery couldn’t end soon enough.</p><p>Seeing that Megamind was evidently unoccupied, the bot with two fins hovered over and began bumping against his hand and bowg-ing for attention.</p><p>“Yes, yes. Daddy hears you,” he murmured, collecting her onto his lap and absently stroking her dome. She offered another encouraging bowg and he patted her halfheartedly. “Yes. You’re a very good girl," he said, scratching lightly under her jaw.</p><p>“Which one is that?” Roxanne asked.</p><p>His hands stilled and he looked up. She was watching him curiously, but her blank expression gave little away. “Her name is Mina.”</p><p>“Mina,” Roxanne repeated to herself.</p><p>Upon hearing her name—and having decided that Megamind wasn’t petting as enthusiastically as he should be—Mina perked up and hovered over to Roxanne, nudging her in an obvious bid to get more-and-better cuddles. Roxanne smiled at her. “Sorry, I can’t do much with my hands tied.”</p><p>Mina quickly hovered back to Megamind and gave him an entreating bowg.</p><p>He wrinkled his nose at her. “No.”</p><p>She bristled and bowged more demandingly.</p><p>“<em>No</em>, I won’t untie Miss Ritchi so she can pet you!”</p><p>She gave a disgruntled series of bowgs until he finally waved her away.</p><p>“Don’t be ridiculous. If you want cuddles so badly, you can go find Uncle Minion.”</p><p>Mina let out a final peevish bowg-snap and hovered off up the stairs.</p><p>“I think you offended her,” Roxanne said evenly. “People don’t enjoy being treated like they don’t even deserve the courtesy of being heard.”</p><p>“<em>I’m</em> the one that isn’t being heard, today,” he countered. “I gave my answer, and <em>she</em> chose to ignore it.” He gave her a pointed look.</p><p>“Maybe there was still more to say—more she wanted you to consider—”</p><p>“No,” he snapped. “She was asking for something unreasonable, and I let her know, in <em>no</em> uncertain terms, that it could never happen. She should have listened.”</p><p>Her brows came together but she looked more disappointed than angry. After a moment she grudgingly nodded. “Maybe she should have.”</p><p>“I…” He frowned, struck by a sudden pang of regret. “I didn’t… I never <em>meant</em> to offend her,” he said quietly. “I hope she knows that.”</p><p>There was a beat of silence and then Roxanne let out a resolved sigh. “She does. And you’re right—I should have listened to you.” She looked up ruefully. “I know I can be… pushy. And I really didn’t mean to be. About this. So. I’m sorry.”</p><p>His jaw dropped. He hadn’t expected her to just drop the analogy like that. Besides—situational parallels aside—he was pretty sure he was the one ‘in the wrong’ here. He usually was. “You… you’re…?” He shook himself. “I, uh, thank you? Me… too?”</p><p>A small smile played at the corner of her mouth.</p><p>“What?” He quirked a brow. Was that the wrong thing to say?</p><p>She shook her head, lips still curved. “Just—you. You can be kind of adorable sometimes.”</p><p>His eyes went wide. “I—<em>what</em>?!”</p><p>She chuckled.</p><p>He—<em>what</em>?! Should he take offense? It would be difficult around the explosion of happiness in his chest.</p><p>“So, what’s the weapon du jour?” she asked. “Because I’m pretty sure I’ve seen that laser before, and if that’s it, you must be scraping the bottom of the barrel this week.” She glanced around. “Knowing you and your penchant for coordinating the venue with the plot, I’m guessing it’s something time related?”</p><p>He observed her warily for a moment—it would be foolish to answer. Unfortunately, he wasn’t capable of denying her anything at the moment. He pulled the gun from the holster at his hip and held it up to show her.</p><p>She made an interested noise. “Did you actually manage to weaponized time? Like, is it going to age him super-fast or something?”</p><p>He blinked. “Rapid aging,” he murmured. “Oh, I like that! But no. <em>This</em>,” he said, jiggling the gun before returning it to its holster, “is more of a support element. A little isolated time dilation should make things more fun.”</p><p>She wrinkled her nose. “Time dilation?”</p><p>“<em>Augmented</em> time dilation,” he amended. “An altered dimensional brane.” He shrugged. “It should create a protracted pocket of spacetime around him.”</p><p>“Okay, so you effectively made a slo-mo gun? Is that even going to work? I mean—can’t Wayne just hyper-accelerate?”</p><p>“Not if the temporal dampener holds.”</p><p>She arched a brow. “That sounds like quite a gamble.”</p><p>He returned a cavalier smile. “Well, I like to play the odds.”</p><p>“Don’t you think you might be pushing your luck?”</p><p>“What can I say? Flirting with danger is part of the job, Miss Ritchi.”</p><p>And—okay—apparently that was the wrong thing to say, because her expression sobered, and she went quiet.</p><p>He began fiddling nervously with the control panel to fill the void. Unfortunately, he wasn’t exactly paying attention to what he was doing and accidentally brought out one of the backup ‘threat’ machines. After letting out a surprised yelp, he quickly flipped the switch to tuck it away again, before daring to peek at Roxanne.</p><p>She had an amused smile on her face, but it wasn’t nearly as derisive as he expected. “Well, you’d better not rip a hole in spacetime or something,” she said wryly.</p><p>“I probably won’t,” he mumbled, ignoring the heat in his cheeks.</p><p>“You got anything else tucked away in that thing?”</p><p>“Possibly.”</p><p>She smirked. “I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.” She glanced around and shook her head. “I’m always amazed you can set all this stuff up without anyone noticing.”</p><p>He shrugged. “I have an army of brainbots, a dehydrating gun, and multiple vehicles that feature invisibility mode. Setting up is the easiest part of my plots.”</p><p>“And what’s the hardest part?”</p><p>He made a face. “Having to listen to Metro Man’s godawful speeches. I’m <em>grateful</em> for the days they drag me straight to prison.”</p><p>“But doesn’t the speech give you a chance to escape?”</p><p>“Yes, but at what cost? Being forced to listen to Metro Man blathering on about <em>friendship</em> and <em>togetherness</em>. And his, quote unquote, <em>symbolism</em>? Ugh! Take Operation Kiteastrophe, for example—that whole speech about cutting the ties that hold us back? Evil gods—could he be more on the nose? It’s the worst kind of torture!”</p><p>She snorted. “Says the guy who can monologue about death-traps for ten minutes at a time.”</p><p>“Wha—that’s—I—okay, <em>first </em>of all, there’s no way I go on for that long. And secondly, that’s an <em>imperative</em> part of what I do! It’s the—the whole—'threatening you’ thing!”</p><p>“Oh. Yes. Of course. <em>Very</em> important stuff,” she said, eyes sparkling.</p><p>“Crucial!” with an upward point of his finger.</p><p>She laughed again and he found himself smiling back at her like a besotted idiot. And he couldn’t help but wonder…</p><p>“Miss Ritchi,” he said softly, hesitant to bring the subject up again, “what you said earlier…” He trailed off and she tipped her head to the side in question. “You said you worry,” he continued slowly, “and I was wondering what you meant. By that.”</p><p>She stared at him for a moment, and then dropped her gaze. “I worry about you,” she said simply. “I don’t like it when you get hurt.”</p><p>He blinked. Huh. That—was a bit of surprise, actually. Not that he assumed she actively <em>wanted</em> him hurt, he just really didn’t think she gave it much thought at all. Apparently, he was wrong.</p><p>And once again, his mind began circling around the whole, ‘were they friends’ question. Because, frankly, it was getting harder and harder to convince himself that they were nothing more than supervillain-and-captive to each other. Afterall, he enjoyed her company. And it seemed like she might enjoy his—like she trusted him—as impossible as that seemed. Could she… really think of him like that?</p><p>“What is it?” she asked.</p><p>Damn. He must have been making faces again. “I was just wondering.” He swallowed and steeled his nerves. “Do you—” He paused. “<em>Could</em> you—ever consider me—”</p><p>“—Sir! Metro Man approaches!”</p><p>Gah—of all the—!</p><p>He spun about and signaled the bots, pulling the gun from its holster and twirling it deftly around his finger. “Let the show begin.”</p><p>x.x.x.x.x</p><p>Roxanne stood among a crowd of reporters, her microphone pointing at Wayne as he gave his post-battle speech, and tried to corral her wandering mind. The plot had gone pretty well—as well as could be expected, at least. The Slo-mo Gun had worked perfectly, and, after giving a celebratory ‘whoop,’ Megamind had cued up ‘Good Times Bad Times’ by Led Zeppelin and proceeded to unload an entire arsenal of weapons and backup weapons and backup backup weapons at Wayne. Eventually he’d found one that actually packed a punch and forced his adversary to dive—comically slowly—for cover.</p><p>The only downside was when Wayne finally managed to break free from the time pocket, and Megamind gone for the hoverbike in the belfry, Wayne cut him off before he got to it and, in the ensuing battle, he’d had gotten over enthusiastic and accidentally thrown Megamind off the edge of the tower. The brainbots caught the villain almost instantly, but Roxanne’s heart continued to race long after Wayne took him into custody.</p><p>She glanced at Hal, filming diligently beside her. She really should stay focused, but a figure on the far side of the crowd made it difficult. Megamind was slouched beside a cop car, his hands cuffed in front of him, one of the officers gripping his shoulder firmly. He looked to be a miserable combination of disgusted and bored.</p><p>“—as we all know, even the hardest heart can’t withstand the might and power of friendship—”</p><p>Megamind heaved a weary sigh and glanced over at Roxanne. She gave him a sympathetic smile, and after a long, puzzled, ‘<em>who, me?</em>’ stare, he returned it hesitantly.</p><p>“—and today, the citizens of Metro City have triumphed, proving once again that the forces of evil will never slow us down—”</p><p>Roxanne rolled her eyes and sent him a smirk, and his smile widened into an amused grin. A swell of affection rose inside her, making her smile deepen and—</p><p>—oh.</p><p>Oh damn.</p><p>That. Wasn’t affection. Was it.</p><p>Or maybe it was, but there was more. Something deeper underneath, thrumming softly.</p><p>She gulped and quickly faced forward. Okay. Okay… so… shit. Now what.</p><p>A round of clapping and cheering signaled that Wayne had finished his speech. When Roxanne looked back, Megamind was already being carted away. Hal aimed his camera at her, and she put on her most charming smile and gave a few final words, wrapping the report. Not a moment after she signed off and the feed cut, Wayne touched down beside her. Hal called out a hasty goodbye and he disappeared into the quickly dispersing crowd—at least he had enough sense not to push things when Wayne was <em>right there</em>.</p><p>She smiled up at the white-caped hero. “Nice speech,” she teased.</p><p>He grinned sheepishly, rubbing a hand against the back of his neck. “Yeah, yeah. Just playing the part.”</p><p>“Playing it pretty well, today. You look good. Does this mean you finally talked to the city council?”</p><p>He made a face. “No. Not yet,” he muttered.</p><p>Her eyebrows raised in surprise. “So, where did all this extra energy come from?”</p><p>He shrugged. “Megamind, actually. He’s been sending brainbots out to keep the city quiet on plot days. It’s great!”</p><p>“You’re joking.”</p><p>“Scout’s honor. It’s like having a mini vacation! I figured I should pay him back by hero-ing as hard as I could.”</p><p>She snorted. “Honestly—that’s probably what he was hoping for. Still, you might want to keep that to yourself. If he realizes you’re grateful, he’ll probably stop.”</p><p>“Actually…. I was kind of thinking the opposite,” he said hesitantly. “I thought… maybe he’d be interested in keeping it up long term—like, we could come to some kind of agreement. I can’t believe how easy things are when he takes over. I basically have nothing to do. I was… sort of hoping, maybe you might be willing to talk to him about it?” He raised his eyebrows pleadingly.</p><p>She frowned. “Wayne…” After the conversation they’d had earlier, she was wary of bringing something like this up anytime soon.</p><p>“Pleeeeeease?”</p><p>She sighed. “Maybe. I doubt he’d be interested—no matter who broaches it—but I’ll think about it.”</p><p>“Thanks Roxie.” He glanced around. The crowd had largely cleared, giving them some privacy, but he drew her in a little closer anyway. “So. What was up with that little moment between you two during my speech?” he asked, grinning slyly.</p><p>She felt her face flush. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”</p><p>He chuckled. “Sure. Whatever you say,” he said, giving her a cheeky grin. “Come on. Let’s get you home, lovergirl.”</p><p>She huffed as he scooped her into on arm. But before he could take off, she stopped him. “Wayne?”</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“If…” She took a breath. “If I did… feel something for him, do you think he’d be interested?”</p><p>He snorted. “You’re kidding, right? Yeah. He absolutely would.”</p><p>Her heart fluttered. “You think so?”</p><p>He laughed. “Yup. So… does this mean we’re breaking up?”</p><p>“I…” Oh god. This was <em>not</em> how she thought this day would go. “I don’t know. You don’t think he’d stop kidnapping me because of it?”</p><p>“I doubt it. I mean, it’s not like I wouldn’t still come to rescue you.”</p><p>“Right. Okay. Let me think about it. If we do, I’d like to be the one to break the story. Maybe we can go on the air together and let everyone know that it’s an amicable split? Just ‘growing apart’ or something?”</p><p>He nodded. “Sounds good. You let me know.”</p><p>She smiled. “Thanks Wayne. You’re a good guy.”</p><p>He grinned and they took off into the air.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Yes! Ha ha haaaaa! <em>Tremble</em> before me, Metrocity!”</p><p>Megamind’s voice rang out through the p.a. system on his newest exosuit—a three-story demonic obsidian colossus with pitch-black nonfunctional wings that he had dubbed the Chernobot—as he stomped heavily toward the large fountain in front of City Hall. Minion clonked alongside, smiling brightly, the strident chords of King Diamond’s ‘Halloween’ ringing out from the amplified boom box he held on his shoulder. A large swarm of brainbots fitted with ‘scary’ holographic costumes floating around them like some sort of ghostly entourage, pouring eerie fog into the streets, while a handful of normal-looking bots floated above and lit the entire scene with a spectacle of dancing lasers.</p><p>Roxanne looked on with a wry smile, her amusement winning the war against her nerves. She had decided <em>not</em> to publicly end things with Wayne, primarily because the last plot had only been a week and a half out from Halloween—Megamind’s biggest event of the year—and she didn’t want to divert people’s focus. So here she was, clutched in the exosuit’s large mechanical hand and costumed in a rented burgundy Elizabethan-style gown with a square neck, and a high collar, and puffed sleeves, and a long skirt, because this was how the first Beatrice she’d ever seen was dressed and she hoped he might catch the nearly-impossible-to-decipher reference.</p><p>Oh, this was a disaster.</p><p>God, she really was in deep, wasn’t she?</p><p>At least her ride was comfortable, in spite of the brisk air. Her wrists were bound in front of her this time, and the metal hand was oddly warm and seemed to be fitted with some kind of shock absorption system that made the jostling steps feel like nothing more than a slight hiccup. The sun had just dipped below the horizon and spectators were starting to fringe the edges of the square in anticipation of the impending battle. The Halloween fight had become a Metro City tradition and it inevitably drew a crowd. Megamind laughed heartily as a nearby cluster of people cried out in terror and ran for cover at his approach.</p><p>“Having fun?” Roxanne called out.</p><p>He flashed a brilliant smile, his lower lip captured between his teeth, and turned off the mic to give them a modicum of seclusion. “Of course! Scaring people is what I <em>do</em>! And this is the one day where people actually <em>want</em> to be scared!” As if to prove it, he turned the mic back on and growled at a group of onlookers who had accrued under the stately columns of the nearby Chamber of Commerce. They screamed and drew back, but there was a faint echo of laughter as they went. “Hahaha! See?” he said, pointing with his free hand.</p><p>Roxanne rolled her eyes and smiled.</p><p>“Now <em>rise</em>, my ghastly ghouls! Go forth and spread your malicious mayhem! Mwahahahaha!” he said, raising his hand dramatically toward the sky. The brainbots spiraled upward around him and then dove, dispersing through the area like a menacing army of phantoms, effectively setting the atmosphere and—if Roxanne’s suspicions were correct—herding any errant pedestrians out of the line of fire.</p><p>“Be honest,” Roxanne said, taking in the scene with a smirk, “was the ‘Chernobot’ inspired by folklore or Fantasia.”</p><p>He gave her a sidelong glance. “Can’t it be both?”</p><p>“Oh—definitely Fantasia,” Minion chimed in. “Night on Bald Mountain used to scare the bejesus out of Sir when he was little.”</p><p>Megamind looked down at his friend in horror. “That’s—not—I—”</p><p>“Adorable. Did you have to cover your eyes?” Roxanne teased. Megamind shot her a grouchy glare and she laughed. “Hey—it was a very effective piece. Used to scare me too.”</p><p>“I didn’t realize scaring you was actually <em>possible</em>,” Megamind muttered, carefully lowering her to the ground. “Now. Minion. If you’re done sharing bits of our past better left <em>in</em> the past, you’re in charge of keeping our captive captive. If she tries to escape, do something sinister to her.”</p><p>“Can do, Sir,” he said cheerfully, taking Roxanne’s arm. “Let me know if you get cold, Miss Ritchi. F-454 and Marlo have been fitted with heating coils,” he added, gesturing to a pair of bots beside them.</p><p>“Minion! You’re not supposed to—” Megamind growled in frustration and slapped a palm to his face, the Chernobot hilariously mirroring his actions. “Never mind. Watch her. And you,” he said, pointing imperiously at Roxanne. “Stop laughing.” He turned around and stomped away, before turning around and stomping back. “—I like your costume, by the way,” he said stiffly. “The collar. Looks. Good.”</p><p>He turned and stalked away again, and Roxanne’s felt her cheeks heat. “Don’t you mean ‘evil?’” she countered. He stopped and cast a soft, surprised glance back at her, then gave an appropriately rakish grin and turned away.</p><p>Okay. She was going to mark the costume down as an unequivocal success—whether he caught the reference or not.</p><p>Megamind strode forward into the now empty square, spreading his arms wide in invitation. “Come forth, Metro Mahn, if you <em>dare</em>—” He went off in full monologue-mode and Roxanne tried to slow the pattering of her heart and the fluttering in her stomach. Oh, this was so, <em>so</em> bad.</p><p>“He’s right, Miss Ritchi. You look lovely.”</p><p>Minion’s voice brought her back to the present and she gave him a small smile. “Thank you.”</p><p>“I’ve always loved the Elizabethan style. Is your costume something specific?”</p><p>“Uh, yeah. It’s supposed to be Beatrice—from Much Ado About Nothing?” she offered, feeling once again self-conscious about her choice. “It’s a bit obscure, I know. Kind of a nod to a conversation Megamind had a while ago?” She shrugged. “I thought he might get a kick out of it.”</p><p>Minion’s eyes widened. “Oh. That’s… Huh.” He cleared his throat and blinked a few times. “Well, it looks great.” They stood, watching the swaggering supervillain together for a moment before he broke the silence. “So, did you ever have that conversation with your boyfriend?” he asked timidly.</p><p>“Wayne?” He nodded and she exhaled. “Yes. He told me what happened.”</p><p>“Ah.”</p><p>Her eyes stayed fixed on Megamind, and she wondered what kind of bullshit Wayne had put him through. Kids were such assholes. She scowled. “I still can’t quite believe it. I mean, he’s obviously got his flaws, but I expected better.”</p><p>Minion made a small noise of understanding. “Well, he was young,” he said, as if to explain.</p><p>“I guess,” she muttered, unconvinced.</p><p>“And he was angry,” Minion continued. “He was—what he did—it was excessive. But—” he made an annoyed huff, his dorsal lights flaring, “—ever Sir has a breaking point,” he said bitterly. “There’s only so much he can take.”</p><p>Wait, was he talking about…? She frowned. Why would Minion assume she was complaining about Megamind when Wayne was so clearly in the wrong in all of this? “You think it was excessive?” she asked, choosing her words carefully.</p><p>He fluttered his fins nervously. “A little. I don’t know. He was just—so tired, at that point. But even so,” he said, drawing himself up as well as well as any fish could, “he shouldn’t have told Metro Man like that. Or. At all, probably. It’s not like knowing about it makes any kind of difference.” He sighed. “Sir would never admit it, but I know he’s sorry.”</p><p>Roxanne blinked.</p><p>What? And also, what?</p><p>Minion seemed to be waiting for a response, so she nodded, and they slipped back into silence.</p><p>Okay. So. She <em>definitely</em> didn’t have the full story here.</p><p>“—and all of Metrocity will bow under the yoke of my wicked will—”</p><p>Roxanne scanned the horizon until she spotted a fleck of white in the last dying rays of sunlight. Wayne. Her eyes narrowed. What the heck hadn’t he told her?</p><p>“Metro Man approaching, Sir,” Minion announced. “From the Northeast.”</p><p>Megamind turned and then clapped his hands together eagerly. A moment later, Wayne touched down, the sheer power of his landing kicking up a cloud of dust into the air.</p><p>“Don’t worry people of Metro City—your hero has arrived!” he proclaimed loudly; arms akimbo.</p><p>A faint cheer went up from the citizenry hiding and watching from amongst the surrounding buildings. The hero and villain traded banter as Roxanne chewed her lip, her mind far from the action. So Megamind had done something that Minion—and maybe even the supervillain himself—considered ‘wrong.’ But what? Any why the hell hadn’t Wayne mentioned <em>any</em> of it?</p><p>x.x.x.x.x</p><p>The city traffic hummed softly below as Wayne and Roxanne glided through the air toward her building. The battle had been as entertaining as ever. Megamind startled the heck out of everyone when the Chernobot began shooting plumes of fire from its hands—plumes that he occasionally arced out over the crowd, near enough to scare, but not near enough to burn. So that was fun. Roxanne distantly wondered if that was why the exosuit’s hand had been so pleasantly warm. He’d even tossed a few of arcs of fire her way but she refused to cower like most of the onlookers.</p><p>There was a slight chance he’d singed her hair a little. She’d have to check it once she had access to a mirror.</p><p>Megamind had lasted a good while before Wayne finally beat him down and ripped him from the suit, throwing him across the courtyard. As soon as he landed, the ghostly bots swarmed in, creating a chaotic screen. A moment later there was a blinding flash of light and he was gone.</p><p>Wayne gave his standard speech and Roxanne did a brief wrap-up report, and when the hero offered to take her home, she had jumped at the chance to grill him. They alighted on her balcony and he set her down carefully, his brows slightly furrowed. "Everything okay?” he asked. “You’ve been awfully quiet.”</p><p>Well… no point in beating around the bush. “Minion mentioned something today—about you and Megamind when you were kids. He said something about Megamind being pushed past his breaking point? That he did something he shouldn’t have? Or told you something? Do you know what he was talking about?”</p><p>Wayne’s face darkened. “Oh. That.” He took a deep breath and released it slowly, and then gave a slow nod, as if steeling himself. “Yeah. It was right before he dropped out,” he murmured. “He was—some guys were giving him a hard time. And… he started fighting them. So, I stepped in. And we got into it. And he said some things…”</p><p>“What kinds of things?” she prodded when he didn’t continue.</p><p>“Some stuff, that I…” He looked off to the side.</p><p>“… Wayne?”</p><p>“I don’t know. He was at the end of his rope and he just—” He shook his head, his eyebrows knitted together. “I mean, I don’t blame him. It was…”</p><p>“… Wayne, what did he say?” She couldn’t help but sympathize—she’d never seen him look so troubled—but at the same time his evasion was driving her insane. <em>What</em> had <em>happened</em>, dammit!</p><p>He met her gaze wearily, and then sighed. “Okay… Okay, just. Wait here.”</p><p>In a flash, he was gone. She made her way inside, turned on the lights, and put on a pot of coffee. She had a feeling they were going to need it. While it brewed, she checked her hair—and was relieved to find it free of any singeing—and then she changed out of her costume and into a pair of comfy sweats and a tee shirt. The coffee was ready when she returned to the kitchen, and Wayne landed on the balcony as she poured herself a cup. “That took a while,” she said, knowing he’d hear through the closed door. “You want some coffee?”</p><p>He let himself in, a large cardboard box in one arm. “Yeah, thanks,” he said, setting the box on the floor and pulling from it what looked like an old sata drive and dock. “Sorry. I couldn’t remember where it was. Flew to like three different buildings.”</p><p>Roxanne raised a brow. “What…?”</p><p>“It’s easier to just show you.”</p><p>“Show me what?”</p><p>“Can I use your computer?” he asked, gesturing to the laptop sitting on her coffee table. She nodded and he opened it and plugged the dock in. “My parents paid to have security cameras installed when they found out Megamind was going to my school again. Like… a donation?”</p><p>Roxanne raised a brow. Yeah. Sure. Donation. No conflict of interest there.</p><p>“And then, when Megamind flipped out, they paid to have it covered up—to take the files.”</p><p>She frowned as she made her way over to him. That didn’t make sense. “Why?”</p><p>“Because I threw him through a wall,” Wayne said simply, scrolling through the drive and leaving Roxanne to chew on <em>that</em> piece of info. “Anyway, I kept the footage.”</p><p>“Again, why?”</p><p>He sighed. “I don’t know. I just. Wanted to.” He made a face and clearly wasn’t going to say anything more.</p><p>“Okay. Let’s see it.”</p><p>He nodded and opened the file.</p><p>She handed him his cup of coffee and sat beside him on the couch. “Good quality?” she murmured.</p><p>He smiled faintly. “Yeah. Nothing but the best for mom and dad.”</p><p>An image came up—black and white, but with surprisingly decent resolution—of what had to be the school’s entryway, vacant except for an unmistakable figure sitting against the wall. It was strange, seeing him out of character like this: no spikes, no leather. Instead, he was clad in a pair of tight black jeans and a black tee with some kind of graphic on it. He looked so… normal. Megamind seemed to be deep in thought, hunched forward and scribbling furiously into a notebook.</p><p>“Waiting for the prison bus,” Wayne explained. “He used to hang out there after school most days, doodling and stuff.”</p><p>Roxanne nodded and then squinted at the screen. The open backpack beside him held what looked like a smallish sphere of water containing a very distinctive fish. “They let Minion come to school with him?”</p><p>Wayne nodded. “I think the Warden played it off as kind of a ‘service animal’ situation. But yeah. Even when he was little. Oh—here!” He pointed at the screen.</p><p>Roxanne could hear the newcomers before she saw them. Raucous laughter came through the speakers, and then a pair of much larger boys, one in a varsity jacket, the other in a hoodie, came into frame. The one in the jacket nudged his friend, and they made their way over to Megamind.</p><p>“Look who it is,” the boy in jacket jeered. “Where’s your bus, loser?”</p><p>“They’re probably just stalling and hoping he’ll fucking escape before they get here,” the hoodie chimed in.</p><p>“Can’t blame ‘em,” the jacket snorted. “So, what’s it like living in a prison? Be honest—do you have yourself a prison husband to keep you safe and warm at night?”</p><p>“Ew—dude! That’s sick,” The hoodie’s face twisted in disgust. “No way would someone screw something as ugly as him.”</p><p>“Maybe if they’re desperate,” the jacket sniggered. “Well? Do you?”</p><p>So, this was the kind of harassment he’d put up with. Roxanne scowled and waited for Megamind to snap back—to give them hell—but to her surprise, he kept his head down and continued writing.</p><p>The jacket nudged him roughly with his foot. “Hey! Asshole! We’re talking to you.”</p><p>Megamind raised his eyes, and a chill went down Roxanne’s spine. He was young, his features rounder, less angular than she was used to, and there was no strip of facial hair down his chin. She even would go so far as to say he was cute, if weren’t for the pure hatred burning in his eyes. She’d never seen him look so… dangerous.</p><p>“Leave me alone,” he muttered before dropping his gaze once again to his notebook.</p><p>“What is this?” the hoodie jeered, grabbing it from him.</p><p>Megamind leapt to his feet. “Give it back!”</p><p>The kid made a face. “A gorilla… robot? What the fuck is this shit?”</p><p>“Give it back, now!” Megamind snapped, whipping his hand out to grab it.</p><p>The hoodie laughed, pulling it out of reach. “Looks like he wants it pretty bad!” He tossed it to the jacket.</p><p>“Come and get it, freak!”</p><p>Megamind reached for it again and the jacket tugged it away and took a few steps back, laughing. “Too late,” he said, tearing out a handful of pages and tossing the notebook carelessly across the room. He crumpled the pages into a ball and tossed them into a nearby trashcan.</p><p>On the screen, Megamind clenched his hand into a fist and Roxanne found that her own had done the same. Again, she waited for him to throw down the gauntlet, to start into a furious tirade, to start <em>fighting back</em>, but instead, he simply exhaled, his hand going slack. He bent down, picked up his bag, made sure Minion was secure, and slowly stalked past the boys, heading over to retrieve the notebook.</p><p>“Why isn’t he <em>doing</em> anything?” she asked, watching him make his way to the trashcan next. The Megamind <em>she</em> knew wouldn’t take this kind of shit from anyone—least of all some uppity jock brats.</p><p>“Because he knows he’d win,” Wayne said frankly, making Roxanne look over in surprise. He shook his head somberly. “He’s holding back because he knows he could hurt them.”</p><p>Megamind reached into the can to fish the pages out, the kid in the jacket came up behind him and gave a hard ‘thwack’ to the back of his neck. Megamind let out a startled yelp, dropping the pages and his backpack and notebook, and clapped both hands over his neck, his eyes round.</p><p>The jacket laughed. “See? I told you—he freaks out every time! It’s hilarious.” He took a fistful of Megamind’s shirt and shoved him backward a few steps, and Megamind had to flail his arms to keep from stumbling.</p><p>The hoodie used the opening to reach out and clamp his hand around the nape of Megamind’s now unprotected neck. Megamind reared his head back and made sharp, pained noise, before spinning to face his attacker. In three lightning-fast hits, he reduced the boy to a huddled, groaning mass on the floor.</p><p>Roxanne swore softly. She’d never seen him move like that in his fights against Wayne. It reminded her of the other day—how quick he’d been. But much more brutal.</p><p>“Asshole!” the jacket yelled, hurtling toward Megamind like a stampeding rhino.</p><p>Megamind pivoted and used the kid’s momentum to his advantage—tripping the boy and sending him careening into the wall where he hit, head-first, with a cringe-worthy ‘thunk.’ The kid climbed to his feet and slowly turned to face him, a trickle of blood already flowing down the side of his face. Megamind brought his fists up and shifted his posture—it was clear he’d done this before. It was almost like watching a coiled snake waiting to strike. The kid in the jacket swore and came tromping forward, and the instant he got within range, Megamind’s arm shot out for what was sure to be a jaw-shattering hit. At almost the same moment, a hulking teenage version of Wayne suddenly appeared between the two combatants and caught Megamind’s fist.</p><p>Jesus, he was huge even then—his polo shirt stretched tightly around enormous biceps and across a broad chest, his khakis skintight at the thighs.</p><p>“What seems to be the problem here,” he said, letting go of Megamind’s hand and shrugging his backpack a little higher on his shoulder.</p><p>“The bastard jumped us,” the jacket said, peeking out from behind Wayne.</p><p>Wayne levelled his gaze at Megamind, who straightened up and gave him a baiting smile. “Apologize, freak,” Wayne ordered.</p><p>Roxanne cast an outraged glance at adult Wayne, and he flinched.</p><p>“Fuck off,” Megamind returned.</p><p>“Apologize,” Wayne repeated, “or we’ll bring one of the teachers down here and you can spend the rest of the week in detention.”</p><p>“Oh no. What a change that will be,” he muttered.</p><p>“I’m serious.”</p><p>Megamind’s smile went sharp. “But showing these dainty little flowers what a <em>real</em> weed can do is <em>such fun</em>!”</p><p>“Fuck you,” the kid in the hoodie said, slowly climbing to his feet and gingerly walking over to join his friend, who was still hiding behind Wayne. “Why don’t you do the world a favor and jump in front of a bus. Fucking alien.”</p><p>Megamind rolled his eyes. “I may be an alien, but at least I’m upfront about it,” he said caustically.</p><p>The kid in the jacket snorted. “What’s that supposed to mean.”</p><p>“<em>He’s</em> as alien as I am,” Megamind said gesturing emphatically at Wayne, his brows low over his eyes, “you primitive halfwit.”</p><p>“Pfft—hardly,” the jacket scoffed. “He’s practically a superhero. <em>You</em> are an ugly, scrawny blue freak. People <em>like</em> him. They wish you’d fucking <em>kill yourself</em>.” The words were scarcely out of his mouth when Megamind lunged forward, his teeth bared in a snarl. “Wayne!” the kid yelped, ducking behind his enormous protector.</p><p>Wayne grabbed the front of Megamind’s shirt and lifted him easily into the air, striding forward while the smaller alien clawed as his arm and kicked out his legs uselessly. It was a scene Roxanne had witnessed many times over the years, but watching the teenage versions act it out was… unnerving. “Back off,” Wayne said, tossing him roughly to the ground where he landed on his butt with a thud.</p><p>Megamind quickly righted himself and barked out a scornful laugh. “Always playing the hero. That’s your game, isn’t it?”</p><p>Wayne gave him a flat stare. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”</p><p>“Oh, sure you do!” Megamind sang, his expression brightening in a manner that could only mean trouble. “I mean—that idiot even <em>said</em> it!” he added, gesturing at the kid in the jacket. “You swoop in and save the day, just so you can hide in plain sight.”</p><p>“I ‘swoop in’ because I want to protect my friends,” Wayne growled. “I’m guessing you’d do the same—if you actually <em>had</em> any friends.”</p><p>“If these are the kind of simpletons I’d have to put up with, I’d rather not,” Megamind countered dryly. “And if <em>you</em> weren’t so eager to bend over backward for them, I doubt <em>you’d</em> have any friends either.”</p><p>Wayne’s eyes narrowed. “What do you know?”</p><p>“Enough,” Megamind returned. “I’ve heard the whispers—and knowing your hearing, I’m sure you have too. The humans put up with you, but you don’t ‘fit in’ any more than I do. That’s why you’re so afraid of <em>not</em> doing what they want, isn’t it? I mean—let’s be honest; if you weren’t such a pushover, they might even fear you.”</p><p>“You’re wrong,” Wayne said, but he looked visibly uncomfortable.</p><p>“I’m not,” Megamind pressed. “Humans are a suspicious, self-centered species. Face it—they only accept you because you’re their dog, leashed and collared and begging for attention.”</p><p>“Jesus. What is your problem?” Wayne bristled. “If you hate everyone so much, why <em>don’t</em> you just go back to wherever the heck you came from?” he snapped.</p><p>“Ha. Wouldn’t that be nice,” Megamind said coldly. “Unfortunately, ‘returning home’ isn’t an option—for either of us.” Wayne squinted in confusion and Megamind let out a brittle laugh. “Oh, that’s right, <em>you</em> don’t remember,” he taunted, his lips curling into a sneer. “I forgot—you have the mental capacity of a toaster.”</p><p>“Remember what?”</p><p>“<em>We</em>—my thick-skulled compatriot—don’t have anywhere to return to. Our star collapsed. Both our planets were destroyed. Which means every other creature like us has been wiped out of existence,” he said, squashing his hands together cruelly.</p><p>Roxanne gasped and glanced over at Wayne, who was staring gravely into his mug.</p><p>“You’re… you’re wrong,” the younger Wayne murmured. “That can’t be true.”</p><p>“Ah, but it is,” Megamind said, his voice taking on an almost lilting, mocking tone. “<em>We</em> are all that’s left. <em>You</em>—you brainless lump of protein—<em>you</em> are the <em>last</em> of your kind,” He took a several slow, deliberate steps toward Wayne until he staring up into the much taller alien’s face. “But hey! Look on the bright side! At least your <em>real</em> parents will never know what a self-absorbed, spoiled, <em>coward</em> you are!”</p><p>At that, young Wayne’s face twisted into a snarl of rage, his eyes glowing noticeably in the black and white video. “Shut. Up!” There was a flash of motion, and then Megamind was gone, and a chillingly Megamind-sized hole had appeared in the wall.</p><p>Good lord. She knew it was coming, and she had seen Wayne toss Megamind around a lot over the years, but she had <em>never</em> seen him throw the villain <em>entirely through a goddamn wall</em>. The seconds dragged by as she stared resolutely at the screen. This had happened years ago. He had obviously survived. He was fine.</p><p>Sure enough, the hole darkened and Megamind gingerly climbed back through. Roxanne exhaled with relief. He looked pretty torn up and one arm was curled protectively around his ribs, but he was walking.</p><p>The three witnesses in the video watched quietly as he limped across the common area to collect his bag, and the notebook, and to fish the torn pages out of the trashcan. He gave Wayne one final, heavy stare and opened his mouth, as if to speak, but then he seemed to change his mind and looked away. He pushed open the front door and walked through, vanishing from view.</p><p>The feed cut a moment later.</p><p>“He dropped out after that,” Wayne said quietly. “Disappeared for a while. The next time I saw him was the Craniumatrix.”</p><p>“His first plot,” Roxanne murmured, her mind still reeling.</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Her brows came together, and she looked at Wayne imploringly. “Why didn’t you tell me?”</p><p>“Because I don’t like <em>thinking</em> about it. <em>Any</em> of it,” he snapped, startling her with the force of his tone. He shook his head. “At first I thought he might be lying. I know he likes messing with me, but—” he sighed, and his anger seemed to deflate, “—he wouldn’t say something like that about <em>himself</em> if it weren’t true,” he said wearily. “So. Yeah. I guess I’m the last of my kind. And he’s the last of his.”</p><p>“Wayne,” she, set her mug down and put her hand gently on his forearm. “God, I’m—I’m so sorry.”</p><p>He let out a slow breath before looking over and giving her a faint smile. “It’s fine. It’s not like I remember any of it. And that’s—that’s another reason I don’t really—” his face twisted, “—if I talk about it, it feels more like I’m revealing something about him than I am about myself. I don’t know.”</p><p>“I can understand that,” she said softly. “But… didn’t you ever… wonder? About where you came from?”</p><p>“Yeah. Of course, I did. I mean, I knew I was an alien—and that I was the only one on Earth. So, I had to have come from <em>somewhere</em>.” He set the coffee on the table. “I used to think about it a lot, when I was a kid. But. I got lucky,” he said frankly. “I got really lucky in all of this. I never really felt the <em>lack</em> of my planet or my people. Not like…”</p><p>“… like Megamind did,” she finished for him.</p><p>He nodded.</p><p>“Still. It must have hurt. I’m sorry you went through that,” she said gently. “Both of you,” she amended.</p><p>He nodded again, his eyes dull. “Anyway, mom and dad called in some favors to get this video pulled from the record. People didn’t like Megamind, but I’m pretty sure this would have gotten me arrested. They ended up paying to repair the wall, and I think they even gave Blake and Chad a small payout to keep them quiet. They were going to destroy the footage, but I wanted to keep it. I used to watch it sometimes—to remind me.” He shrugged and exhaled. “He was right, you know,” he added softly. “What he said about me. He was right. About everything.” His brows pinched together, and he hunched forward, as if trying to make himself smaller. “I—have spent my <em>entire life</em> trying to please people, just so they won’t notice how different I am.” He let out a short, miserable laugh. “Being a hero—being Metro Man—that’s just one more way for me to hide. I don’t even want to <em>be</em> a hero anymore, but I’m terrified of quitting! I <em>am</em> a coward! God—I am the<em> biggest</em> fucking coward.” He buried his face in his hands.</p><p>“Oh, Wayne.” Roxanne put her arms around him as well as she could and murmured soft, soothing phrases. He uncurled and put his arms around her, pulling her in as tightly as he could without crushing her, and then let out a shuddering sigh.</p><p>“Thanks, Roxie,” he murmured. “You’re a good friend.”</p><p>She let go and looked up at him. “Wayne, you don’t have to be a hero if you don’t want to be. And that is <em>not</em> the only reason people like you. You,” she hesitated, “you <em>are</em> different. And yes, there will be people who judge you because of that. But there will be others who will accept you for who you are—no questions asked. You just have to ignore the people who bring you down and focus on the ones who lift you up. Okay?”</p><p>He nodded and brushed a hand under his eyes. “Yeah. Okay.”</p><p>“Good. We are going to figure this out. Together. I promise, I’ll help you through this. And I promise, no matter what happens, or how things change, we will always be friends.”</p><p>He gave her a wobbly smile. “Thanks, Roxie. That means a lot.”</p><p>x.x.x.x.x</p><p>“That was fantastic!” Megamind crowed after Minion rehydrated him back at Evil Lair. “Did you <em>see</em> how the hell-flames made everyone jump? Ha!”</p><p>“Yes, Sir—it was absolutely terrifying!”</p><p>“And Roxanne? Was she scared?”</p><p>Minion hesitated. “She was… startled?”</p><p>So, no. Oh well. It was to be expected. “Did she at least enjoy the show?” he asked, taking off the mantle and unclasping his gloves.</p><p>“Oh, yes! I’m sure she found it very exciting.”</p><p>That was probably an exaggeration, but Minion’s words still sent a little thrill through him. “Glad to hear it. She certainly dressed for her role tonight,” he added under his breath. God, she had looked—her costume—‘amazing’ didn’t quite cover it.</p><p>“Damsel?”</p><p><em>Temptress</em>. “Uh… something like that,” he said slowly.</p><p>“Well, she’ll be happy to know you liked it. She was hoping you’d catch the reference.”</p><p>Megamind blinked. “The what, now?”</p><p>“Oh! Uh, she said she was dressed as a character you’d discussed?”</p><p>Megamind’s eyebrows shot up. That could only mean—really? But. Why? A small, lopsided smile crept over his lips and he turned away so Minion wouldn’t see. “Of course! Yes, I… I had <em>assumed</em> that’s what she was dressed as. But I wasn’t <em>entirely</em> sure.” Minion went silent and Megamind peeked behind him and found a perturbed-looking fish. “Something wrong?”</p><p>Minion’s eyes widened in surprise. “Oh! Uh… no. It’s nothing.” He gave an overly broad smile. “Would you look at the time. The delta squad should be arriving back any minute now. I suppose check in and see how the pacification procedure went.”</p><p>“Yes. You do that,” Megamind said flatly, watching his friend hurry out the door. What was that about? Ah. Oh well. He was in <em>far</em> too good a mood to agonize over it right now. If it was important, Minion would say something. Megamind skipped over to the drafting board and picked up a pencil, twirling it in his fingers. If he started right now, he could probably whip up a new plot in a few days…</p><p>… She had worn that costume for <em>him</em>. It was a reference for <em>him</em>!</p><p>He let himself smile unhindered. He still had no idea <em>why</em>, and he would probably drive himself insane trying to figure it out, but for now, he was going to let himself enjoy this.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading! Comments are always appreciated!</p>
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